Greetings and Salutations, welcome back to the Swamp loyal readers,
I promised last week we would have a special guest today. One of our more resplendent residents and one who is very protective of her privacy, please welcome G. Anna Conda.
The crowd pushes back from the dais one woman screams and faints on the spot.
Sorry about that Ms. Conda.
“Please Eerie, you must call me Anna. After all, we’ve been friends for how many years now?” Her tongue flicks, probably tasting the fear from the crowd.
More than I wish to count Anna. Again I do apologize for the less than enthusiastic response.
“It’s fine. Even though I shed regularly, I’ve developed a thick skin when it comes to the gasps and screams when the general public sees me for the first time.”
What is it, do you think, that causes that kind of reaction?
“Well I am a predator and I’m very good at what I do, but mostly I think it’s the no legs or arms thing that gets to them. I’m not warm and furry, although I do like to cuddle. My hugs are world renown, sadly no one who has experienced one of my hugs and has survived to talk about it.”
So what are you up to theses days?
“It’s not polite to ask a lady her weight but I weigh in a little over 500 pounds and I’m 27 feet tall.”
You mean long.
“If you like. How long are you then?”
I see your point. Your size is certainly intimidating.
“No one screams and faints when an elephant walks into the room.”
True. So tell me, what are doing with yourself, between meals that is.
“I’ve starred in several movies and of course the folks over National Geographic and BBC Nature keep me busy as well. Although the documentaries don’t pay as well as Hollywood.”
Is there any chance we’ll be seeing more of you around here? I mean I for one like to see your face around the place?
“I don’t know about that. Aside from The Swamp Thing not many of your neighbors like having me lurking about.”
Do you think you could hold my muse down while we finish the next chapter in Transformation?
“I’m happy to help out where I can, but to be honest one muse is bad enough. When you get two or more in one place you’re just begging for trouble. Quite frankly Eerie, the dwarves’ muses scare me. So I don’t think I can help you out. Besides as it turns out I have quite a flare for color and I’m doing a little painting in my free time.”
Anything we can see?
“Not yet but I’ll let you know. C. Rock Adile said he knows someone who owns a gallery. And he knows someone at the royal court who could hang my work at the Palace. Maybe even get me a private showing.”
I hope he doesn’t disappoint you. You should know that he tends to be… To be blunt he’s a blowhard.
“I’m not a vindictive serpent, but he hopes he doesn’t disappoint me too. I have a way of squeezing the truth out of folks.”
I’m quite aware. Our time is about up Anna but if I may ask one more question.
“EERIE, EERIE, come quick.”
What is it Mischievous?
“The zombies have knocked down the fence and they’re heading toward the Impenetrable Forrest.”
“You seem to have an emergency, so I’ll just take my leave. Thanks for inviting me, Eerie.”
But Anna I wanted to know what the G stands for. I say into the now empty space where only seconds ago the largest snake in the world sat staring at me.
“Come on Eerie the zombies are escaping and you know gathering them up is like herding cats.”
I’m coming. Say hello our readers Mischievous.
“Hey everyone, nice to see you. What happened to the that one?” He points to the lady who fell on her face at the site of Anna.
She fainted that’s all. It’s time to go. I hope I see you all back here next week. In the mean time I’ll leave you with this quotation.
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant - Robert Louis Stevenson.