The Joy of Writing

Muse and I working in the Library

Still hanging out here at the Monastery, I’m getting a little homesick for the Swamp though.  As I mentioned before, cell service is bad up here, and my cell carrier, Surprison’s slogan is “He hears me, he hears me not.”  They are the undisputed champs of dropped calls.  So I’ve sent Mischievous Raven back to gather some news.  I hope he stays away from C. Rock Adile.  Those two really don’t get on well.  When he and Mischievous get together it gets ugly fast.  Of course Wicked has her eye on a new set of

The Great Hall

boots courtesy of CR’s hide.  Come to think of it not many folks around the The Swamp like CR at all.  I’m sure Mischievous will return soon with the goings on.

On the local front the Monks have been very busy in the wine cellar of late.  They seem very excited about something.  It will be difficult to beat last years bold red wine Exsanguinate The Halls.  It had a bloody nose and a delightful coppery aftertaste.  Last years holiday white was less successful, Infected Wound, it had a rancid nose and laid heavily on the palate.  The good news is with the Monks scurrying up and down the cellar steps we’ve had the place to ourselves.

My Muse and I are revisiting a story I started a while back and then set aside because we got caught up in the editing craze that was going around.  You may remember my post from Feb. 10. Editing.  Everybody’s doing it, doing it doing it.  I’m still working on submissions of my completed novel The Three Misfiteers.  I’m sure some intelligent, good-looking, industrious agent will want it for their portfolio soon.  In the mean time,  back to writing some original material.

This is always the most fun a writer can have.  First drafts (at least mine) are full of interesting characters with enchanting repartee.  Of corse much of that will have to go in the second draft because it is rife with mistakes, clichés, and misused words.  But when the characters get in my head and take the place over, its chaos at it’s most wonderful.  So I think I will cut our meeting a little short this week so I can get back to it.

This weeks quote comes from Joseph Conrad

“Of all the inanimate objects, of all men’s creations, books are the nearest to us for they contain our very thoughts, our ambitions, our indignations, our illusions, our fidelity to the truth, and our persistent leanings to error. But most of all they resemble us in their precious hold on life.”

Write On,

Eerie

new books abound

Greetings and Salutations Glorious Readers of the blog,

I’m glad to see you made it through the Impenetrable Forrest with Mischievous and myself.  On our way we passed Dreamers quaint little cottage, we attracted the zombie horde and brought them along with us.  It was the good thing too, because when the Piranha Hummingbirds attacked the zombies were slow and they were devoured down to the bare bones affording us an easy escape.  So that’s a few less zombies to pester Dreamer.  Of course there are always new ones showing up so the Prankster Duo won’t have to worry about running out of playmates anytime soon.  In our mad dash to escape I think we ran right past a Killer Koala.  He was probably disoriented by Mischievous’  screaming.  What’s that?  I was the one screaming.  Are you sure?  Well, who knew my short legs could move so fast, even as screamed like a little girl.

Mischievous and I are holed up here in the old Catholic unconsecrated cemetery to wait out the full moon. There is no cell phone service here so we are out of touch with the world for now.  I hope the Snark is recuperating all right.  It’s a serious thing if the Whipmistress’ Snark isn’t feeling well.  The reason we’re stuck here in the cemetery  is The Werewolf Monks, wonderful hosts that they are, don’t accept visitors during the course of the full moon.  Of course my muse is safe because he’s already there.  Don’t worry about us we’re safe because the unconsecrated cemetery is neutral territory.  Nothing messes with the Enforcer Spirits that execute the law around here, not even the zombies are that stupid.  And let’s face folks the zombies aren’t just playing with a less than a full deck. Their deck only contains Jokers and Lazy Jacks.   So while we’re cooling our jets here I thought I’d talk about what I’ve been reading.

Besides my daily spiritual readings, in the last week three of my  favorite authors have released books.  The first and foremost is of course is the Master’s.  Just when you thought it was safe to visit mid-world again Mr. King has released another book in the Gunslinger series. This new book titled The Wind Through the Keyhole, falls in the middle of the Dark Tower cycle, between Wizard and Glass and Wolves of Calla.  I’ve only just begun to read it so I can’t tell you much more than that.  It should comfort me nicely here against the headstone of poor old Liam Flannery who passed away two days before the Mrs., affording him a very short respite from her sharp tongue.  The critics have been sharp tongued with regards to SK’s revisiting of mid-world, and although it’s too early for me to have an opinion on the work itself I must say it is courageous of Stephen to reopen the doorway to visit with Roland and his ka-tet.

The second book added to my granite nightstand is the latest from that jokester Mr. Christopher Moore titled Sacre Bleu.  He claims it is a book about the color blue.  What ever he says about it, is irrelevant because he never fails to make me laugh out loud.  It’s a Dirty Job was about a beta male.  And You Suck is a love story.  I’m looking forward to laughing in public places as I read all about the color blue.

And last but not least Bloodstorm by Amber Kallyn is out in paperback from Amazon.  A love story with intrigue, passion, and blood sucking vamps.  Five Salamanders out of five.  Check it out at Amazon.

In any case I’ll savor my time with these authors because they always entertain.  Fortunately the moon is rising early and it’s plenty bright enough for me to read by.  So I think I’ll wrap it here and get some reading in this week I’ll leave you with a little taste of Christopher Moore.

“That’s the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.” 

― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

“Charlie Asher: I accidentally shagged a monk last night.
Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.”
― Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job

“She gave him the wide, green-eyed expression that she would have described as I will slap you so far into next week that it will take a team of surgeons just to get Wednesday out of your ass.” 

― Christopher Moore, You Suck

Write On,

Eerie

SNARK HAS BEEN RETURNED NOW BACK TO WORK

Greetings and salutations loyal followers,

As you probably know by now we found the missing Snark at the Monastery of the Werewolf Monks.  She’s still recovering from drinking all the left over Exsanguinate The Holidays from the Monk’s special reserve.  It’s taken quite a toll on her. The last time I saw her she was in the throes of the DTs.  The good news is she’s in good hands, the Swamp Thing is nursing her back to her former glory and has agreed to counsel her on substance abuse.  The bad news is we lost my muse during the search.  Wicked thought he went for the whites but Mischievous said he was heading into the cellar for amontillado.  So Mischievous and I are going to take the shortcut back to Monastery through THE IMPENETRABLE FORREST and get my muse back.  

Wish us luck because you know there are many hazards to be encountered there.  Last time we ventured there we lost several members of our group to the Killer Koalas, and the time before that we were attacked by Pirahana Humming Birds.  I’ve never seen a Black Tiger, but they say they are most ferocious.   Vampire Tarantulas  drop from the trees and suck you dry.  However it is the only way to get to the Werewolf Monastery in half a day if you don’t drive.  Dwarves aren’t especially good drivers because our feet don’t touch the pedals and we can’t see over the steering wheel.  

Before we leave I need to share with you what I’ve been up to.  I backed off work just a bit and one night I carried a legal pad and pen to bed to make some notes on an idea.  Before you could say Rumplestiltskin I  had eleven hand written pages of a story.  This is what happens when your muse comes to work and your ready for him.  I’ve since started typing it into my Mac.  The message is clear.  If a writer you want to be, then ready you are, and do not flee.  

You’ve heard this before if you write; we don’t write because we can, but because we must.

One last thing I’d like to share, I heard a speaker this weekend who said that Fear and Love are mutually incompatible.  If you fear you cannot love.   And when you love you need not fear.  So fear not.  Go forth and love your fellows.     

This week’s quote comes from SELF-PORTRAIT by David White

“I want to know if you are willing to live, day by day with the consequence of love and the bitter unwanted passion of your sure defeat.  I’ve heard, in that fierce embrace, even the gods speak of God. 

Finding the lost Snark and Lucky Seven Challenge

Well, it’s been a busy week here at the Swamp.  Eerie, Mischevious, the Muses and I decided to track down Snarky’s missing snark.  Eerie, Mischevious and I had to swing by the Swamp Shack and drag out the Muses.  They weren’t too thrilled to be put to work, but I really didn’t have the patience to deal with their complaints.  Plus, they were facing off with Quirky’s bartending Muse regarding their running tab.  Before things could get dicey, I convisicated all the sharp edged weapons, and got the mini crowd into the armored Humvee so we could start our search. Chances were good that Snark had probably started out to welcome Dreamer to the neightborhood and got sidetracked.  She can be a little ditzy in the best of times, but we make allowances.  First up was the Filet Your Own Deli (yep, the name changes weekly!) because the Muses decided they needed to “stock up” for the search.  Seriously? You’d think those two had a hollow leg or three stashed somewhere.  I sent Mischevious ahead to the Swamp Thing’s place, because my Muse was speculating how many feathers would be needed for her new pillow and Mischevious was looking a little gray.

Once Eerie and I had rounded up our remaining charges and set off down the trail, we made quick work of the shops Snark could have gotten lost in–Knaves’ End, Everzombie & Flesh, Cave & Coffin, and Vladimir’s Secret.  No such luck.  Finally, after hours of listening to the Muses gritch about the lack of beverage options, we ended up at the Werewolf Moonastary.  We lost the old white haired dude somewhere in the whites, but over in the reds we found Snark.  Oh yes, she was passed out in front of a bottle littered table.  Seems the reds were a bit much for her plebian palate. Eerie and I dragged her to the Humvee, while my Muse took off with one of the hairy monks.  Mischevious found us at Snarky’s, pouring coffee down the slowly reviving Snark.  Give it a few more days, and she should be up to snuff.  If not, I’m sure Snarky Dwark will whip her into shape. Literally.

As I headed home I passed Dreamer’s lovely place.  She was out adding something colorful to her yard.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her it may not make through the next full moon.  Maybe she’ll get lucky and the moat and C. Adile’s cousins will be able to keep her lawn safe.  If not, the Prankster Duo is having a fun time with the Hellhound playing hide-n-seek-the-pieces with Eerie’s Zombie hordes.  We might be able to keep them hidden for a few more days! Just enough to worm our way into Dreamer’s heart.

So this weekend I’m off, leaving Knight in slightly muddy armor in charge of the Duo as Snarky and I crash the Desert Dreams Writer Conference.  Hopefully we’ll make a few new conquests…umm..friends.

And lastly, this week I was challenged by the mighty UF writer Marie Loughin (aka @mmloughin on Twitter), for the Lucky Seven. For those who aren’t familiar, Lucky Seven is a simple little Twitter game that goes like this:

• go to page 7 or 77 in your current manuscript
• go to line 7
• post on your blog the next 7 lines, or sentences, as they are
• tag 7 other people to do the same

It’s fun, it’s simple, and it can give you a chance to make your fellow writers show off!  So, since I just finished the third and final edits of Shadow’s Soul (out in June 2012), you’re getting a sneak peak of page 77:

Raine laughed, she couldn’t help it. Even Gavin couldn’t stop the twitch of his lips, while Xander lowered her head as if to hide her face. If Tomás thought threatening to sic Mulcahy on them was going to pull them in line, he was bound for disappointment. Mulcahy was the captain of the Wraiths, and if he hadn’t trusted them to do their job, he wouldn’t have sent them down here in the first place.

“Please do, Alpha Chavez,” she said. “Let him know we’ll contact him in the next day or so.” She didn’t need to lower her shields to feel the roil of power coming off the alpha because of her dismissive tone.

And now for the next seven victims!

Liv Rancourt             @LivRancourt

Amber  Kallyn           @AmberKallyn

Joe Alfano                  @Zombie_Joe

Adriana Ryan             @adrianaryansc

Mackenzie Crowne    @MacCrowne

Cynthia Woolf             @CynthiaWoolf

Rachel Firasek             @RachelFirasek

* “Tagged” means that you were called to action or attention via social media avenues such as Twitter or Facebook. So I know I told you about it!

For those following along with my guest posts, this week you’ll find me:

4/22/12            Black Opal’s Some Stories Told should have my post on Pantsing It…Writer Style.

4/24/12            Denise Alicea’s The Pen Muse where you get to follow my first meeting with Raine McCord!

4/25/12            Sarah Merchant’s Work Aday Reads as we go Where The Monsters Live…

–Wicked

MISSING IN ACTION

Greetings and salutations oh lofty blog readers,

I hope you’ve missed me, because I’m kind of sensitive and my feelings would really be hurt if you didn’t.  I’ve been in search of the Holy Grail.  Okay, that’s not true, I’ve been deluged with work.  A bad excuse for not keeping in touch, but as wicked would say, “It is the way of my people.”  So there you have it, I was out chasing the over rated american dream; money. The good news is I’m taking my life back and step one is to get back to writing.  This is as good a place as any to start that. Besides, I missed you demented harborer’s of ghastly dreams.

So let’s catch up.  My good friend and side kick Mischievous Raven has recovered from his abduction by the The Three Misfiteers.  He should be here, but he stopped to agitate C.Rock Adile.  A worthy endeavor I might add and one he is fully capable of carrying out.  My muse has been hiding out at the Swamp Shack probably collecting unemployment and boozing it up.  That’s about to change because him and I have work to do.  I’ll be heading over there shortly to ask him to put his tool belt on.

If you’re a regular follower you may have noticed the new look. Pretty nice, huh?  Thank you Wicked for the decor.  It’s very fang shui.  If you look closely at the shack on the right you can see my place, it’s under the tangle of roots below the big tree.  I know, what your thinking.  How did I get the best location in the swamp?  It’s all in who you know.

In other news we must bid a fond farewell to Jedi Dwarf , she was called away on urgent business for the Empire, we all wish her well and of course THE FORCE IS WITH HER.  Dreamer Dwarf has joined us and I want everyone to go say hi and welcome her to the Swamp.  She is a bit squeamish about the zombie infestation so keep that on the low down. They’ll grow on her in one of two ways eventually.   She’ll get used to them or they’ll eat her brains, either way they’ll grow on her.  The Evil 7 are planning their retreat to troll mountain again this summer, so I’m studying my riddles, one must be prepared incase one encounters a troll hunting party.

If your new to the Swamp and my blog in particular, all these names and references are loosing you.  Don’t go away.  Besides discussing the on goings around the swamp I also write about writing and what I’m reading.  If you stopped by for lofty literary discussion, you’ve probably gotten lost, but don’t panic.  I urge to hang around, Fridays  are my day and it’s mostly about having fun and letting my imagination run free.  I try not to let grammar or proper word usage get in the way here.  Without going back in time and reading my older blogs I will try to bring you up to speed by filling you in on who’s who as they cross our path. For instance C. Rock Adile is a pompous, crabby, egotistical, pain in the ass who recently moved back here after losing his position with the Kings Royal News Agency.  The details are very hush hush, but rumor has it that he was caught embezzling funds.  The only thing that kept his head attached is he has a lot of dirt on the Royal Family.  You’ll learn more about him later  if  the zombies don’t catch him first.

“Hey Eerie, Wicked wants to see  you right away.  She’s waiting at The Slice Your Own Deli.”

Mischievous,slow down and say hi the our readers.

“Oh hey, good to see you.  I’m surprised you all came  back.  He’s such a slacker.”  Pointing his wing at Eerie.  “Okay, can we go now, she said it was important.  By the way, her muse is with her and you know how SHE is if you keep her waiting.  I think she hates me anyway so can we get a move on.”

Did she say what ‘s so urgent?

“Something about Snarky Dwarf losing her snark.”

That is serious.  I think I see a quest in our future.  Fly down to Swamp Shack and tell my muse to meet at the deli and tell him to bring the armored hummer.

“You got it.  I’ll see you there.  I know how you are about long goodbyes so wrap this up and get a move on.”

Just go, I’ll be right there.  Well folks you see I have an emergency to deal with so I ‘ll say goodbye here, as is my custom I’ll leave you with a quote this week it is from one of my favorite writers and a master of the short story Richard Matheson.

“What condemnation could possibly be more harsh than one’s own, when self-pretense is no longer possible?”
― Richard Matheson, What Dreams May Come: A Novel

Write On,

Eerie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOERGE ROMERO

Survival Of The Dead

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE

WISHING YOU MANY MORE

From the Seven Evil Dwarves and all of us at the Swamp.

Eerie Dwarf

Mischievous is Coming Home

Greetings and Salutations Minions,

I’ve gotten word from The Three Misfiteers, they are pleased with my progress submitting their story out to literary agents.  They have agreed to set Mischievous free and we have made arrangements for the transfer.  I have the three Mischievous Raven Hoodies they requested ready to go.  For obvious reasons I cannot divulge the when or where the transfer is to take place.  They’ve assured me he is in fine spirits, but added if he doesn’t shut up soon they may have to tape his beak closed again.

Sending out the query letter has already reaped some results, as one very astute Literary Agency has requested the first 50 pages of my manuscript.  Because I am a writer this request had me first doing the dance of joy and then the march of dread, as I roller coaster through what if they don’t like it, what if there is some huge gaff on the first page, what if I’m delusional and they never really asked for it, what if the zombie horde intercepts it to pay me back for kicking them out of the Swamp at Christmas, what they hate the mailman who drops it off at their office, what if…

Sorry, I had to go take a pill.  What ifs aside, I’m combing through the first fifty pages checking for that huge gaff and the small ones too.  I couldn’t do this without the help of the other Evil Seven Dwarves.  (Yes that’s right, in case I failed to mention it with the abduction of MR and all.  Please welcome the newest of the Seven Evil Dwarves, ???Dwarf.  I know what your thinking seven and one make eight, but you would be wrong because we will always remain the Evil Seven, so just live it)  As I was saying I couldn’t do this without them.  So a big thanks as always for their support.

Our latest dwarf  is a wonderful writer with a sense of humor who hasn’t chosen her dwarf name yet.  We’ll have her in for an interview and she can tell you all about herself soon.

In other news around the Swamp.  The annual celebration of George Romero’s birthday is

Preparations for George Romero's birthday celebration are all almost complete.

tomorrow.  That’s right February the Fourth has snuck up me again.  (I haven’t done any shopping yet. I guess I’ll be giving away a lot of Mischievous Raven Wear)  In spite of MR’s abduction, plans for the celebration went on around here as they do every year .  The Three Misfiteers have agreed to have MR home in time for the party.  We’ve opened the gates to the Swamp and allowed some of the shamblers in for the festivities as long as they promise not to eat anyone during the party.  Slice your own Deli is catering the event of course.  And this year The Swamp Shack is setting up a complimentary open bar.  I hope the Muses will behave themselves, but honestly there isn’t much chance of that, especially with an open bar.

The Drop Dead Inn still has rooms available if you want to hang around until tomorrow for the party.  It promises to be better than ever since we’ll be celebrating Mr. Romero’s birthday and MR’s return home.  You really shouldn’t miss it.  Troll Security has been contracted to keep a lid on things, so bring some riddles with you in case you find yourself in scrape.

I’ve got to go.  It’s time to bring Mischievous home.  I’ll see you all next week in the interim I’ll leave with these words again this is from The Three Misfiteers, this is another one of Frank’s fortunes from the chinese restaurant.

“To know another is not to know his face, but to know his heart.”

Write On,

Eerie

 

Mischievous’ where a bouts still a mystery

Authorities are still baffled by the sudden disappearance of Mischievous Raven.  They’ve requested that all leads be processed through the comment box of this site.  However, Eerie Dwarf is still posting a 1,000 dollar reward for any information leading to the where a bouts of his friend Mischievous.  Eerie can be reached at 777-7777 or just dial dwarves, that’s 392-7837

Recent Photo Of Mischievous Raven

Mischievous Raven was last seen in The Swamps commercial district on the afternoon of January 20th, wearing a coat of shiny black feathers hawking a line of clothing and accessories, called RAVEN WEAR.

MUSING AROUND

removes embarrassing age spots, gets rid of unwanted facial hair, takes weight off hips, busts, thighs, chin, gives you dandruff, gets rid of black heads, heartbreak of psoriasis, it's a friend it's companion, it's the only product you'll ever need.

Hey folks, how’s it hanging?  As you can see Eerie is once again AWOL.  He claims to be writing with his muse down at The Swamp Shack.  I’m not altogether sure any writing gets done down there. I do know a lot of drinking gets done and that worries me.  Don’t tell anyone, but I think  Eerie may have a problem he hasn’t come to terms with.

I know he’s looney-tunes, everyone knows that.  I’m talking about his drinking problem.  Anyway I think his muse is a bad influence on him.  And if Wicked’s muse is with him, forget about it.  That woman scares the shine from my feathers.  I’m telling you, I won’t go back there after last time.  And the booze they serve, anything called Swamp Head just can’t be good for you.

Now let’s get down to business shall we.  Two weeks ago I suggested that you all go check out my new line of fashions and accessories EVERYTHING RAVEN, at mischievous.raven@yahoo.com.  I must say that I was disappointed at the less than enthusiastic response.  So today we will be having a little fashion show.  My assistants, the trolls are eagerly waiting to encourage you with your purchases.  Kiosks are set up at every exit for your shopping convenience.  As a special one time offer today only, you will receive  a free can of Troll Repellent with every purchase.

Step right up, everyone’s a winner, bargains galore.  That’s right you too can be the proud owner of

The quality goes in before the name goes on.

the lovely ensemble being modeled by none other than Karlie Kloss.  Next up Miranda Kerr is showing off the sexier side of Raven Wear with this one piece swimsuit.  Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations, these are originals folks.  Batteries not included.

“Hey MR.”

Get away from kid, you bother me.

“Urgent phone call from Eerie sir.”

Oh, you better put him through.  What’s that Eerie?  Your breaking up.  Can you hear me now?  Eerie?  Eerie?

I think I finally lost him.  It looks like we’ll have to cut the fashion show short.   We’re having a going out of business sale, everything must go.  50 % off original retail price.  Trolls are standing by to take your orders.

“It’s unethical to rub the phone on your chest when you’re talking, Raven.”  C. Rock Adial shakes his head.

Oh, hey C. Rock. It’s impolite to eavesdrop on someone else’s phone conversation.

“I don’t think Eerie will see it that way when he hears of this blatant commercialization of his blog.”

I see.  It’s like that is it.  Maybe you’re interested in some complimentary Raven Wear.

“I cannot be bought so cheaply.  50% of the take might dim my memory.”

30% of the net.

“40% of the net and a case of the Werewolf Monks Exsanguinate the Halls wine.”

You drive a hard bargain C R.

“I served his majesty for many years.  One is apt to pick up a few things along the way.”

Yes.  I bet that’s not all you picked up,

“Are you accusing me of common thievery.”

Not at all.  I’m sure there was nothing common about it.  If you’ll excuse me I’ve got to get this show packed up incase Eerie decides to come back early.

Eerie picked out this weeks quote before he left for the shack.  Don’t forget Everything Raven is always available at mischievous.raven@yahoo.com

“Dreams are the souls pantry.  Keep it well stacked and your soul will never hunger.”

~Cindy Williams

Shop On,

Mischievous Raven

INTRODUCING C. ROCK ADIAL

“Greetings and thank you all for coming today.  As you can see Eerie is not here and so he asked me to take over for him. For my first solo flight I decided to interview a former resident of the swamp who has recently written a book and has moved back.  So without further a due, please join me in welcoming author and former press secretary for the Crown Mr. C.Rock Adial.

“Thank you, Mischievous.  It is an honor be here.  I’m sorry I missed Eerie though. What’s he doing?”

“Eerie is holed up with his muse at the Swamp Shack, supposedly hard at work polishing his novel.  He plans to get it published you know.”

“A very noble cause to miss my return home, I applaud him.”

“Now Mr. Adial, may I ask what the C stands for?”

C. Rock Adial

“You may ask, Raven.  But I will not tell you.”

“I see.  Well call me MR, all my friends do.”

“Yes, quite.  My friends call me CR.”

“Great, well CR let’s talk about why you left the swamp.”

“You mistake me, Raven. I said my friends call me CR, I did not say you could.  As to the why I’ve been gone for so long. I was  the editor for the Town Crier, when the King came to power He pleaded with me to leave my position with the paper and work for him as press Secretary.”

“You were still on the Kings staff when Eerie was banished to live out his days in the swamp, were you not?”

“That is correct, I used my influence with the King to save Eerie from the beheading that he was heading for, if you will pardon the play on words, and getting him exiled from the Kingdom instead.”

“You were also part of the controversial cover up of the Kings new clothes affair, were you not?”

“The work I performed in service to the crown are not up for discussion, Raven. I was invited here to talk about my book.”

“By all means then, won’t you please enlighten us. The book is about the Mayan prediction of the end of the world, correct?”

“Yes, in my service to the Monarchy I was afforded research privileges both here and abroad. I unearthed an obscure document that reflected the thinking of the commoner in the Mayan Empire. Their belief that 12/21/12 would end the universe as we know it and another world would be born in the vacuum.”

“I see, and you believe this so-called theory.”

“Of course, many scholars believe the Mayans have it right. What my book shows is what the Mayan people were doing about it. The Mayan King had big plans including large buildings dedicated to the king and praising him as a god to be left for this new world. These plans would be carried out on the backs of his subjects. The commoners concluded that anything that they could put off until 2012 would be one less thing for them to do. Formulating a plan of inefficiency and delays they were able to bring the Kings plans to a grinding halt saving them much hard work. Hence the title of my book. “2012  THE YEAR OF THE PROCRASTINATOR”

“So you think we shouldn’t bother to do anything for the next year because we’re all going to die anyway?”

“That is why I’ve returned home. To live out my last days surrounded by friends and family, present company excluded, and allow them to fawn over me.”

“What a crock, if you will pardon the play on words.”

“You are an impudent buffoon.”

“Oh yeah, your ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Where are you going?”

“I don’t see that it is any of your business, good day.”

“Hey don’t go away mad, just go away. What a windbag. It’s no wonder Eerie wanted me to interview him. I guess Adial took up most of our time. Don’t forget to check out my new line of swag, Everything Raven, at mischievous.raven@yahoo.com. If your buying into this whole end of the world crap, you might as well go out in style wearing a Ravens Rock hoody, $19.99 while supplies last. (shipping not included) Until next week I’ll leave you with this quote.

“Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man.”  

Jimmy Lyons

Shop On,

Mischievous