Dearest Eerie,
I truly hope Mischievous gets this missive to you. I heard you were taking a sabbatical over on the mountain. I have to wonder at the soundness of your mind considering your chosen location. You do realize the Trolls tend to meander around that area, right? They like appetizers, by the way, so perhaps you should be wary.
While you’ve been away, there have been a few “incidents” that I feel you need to be made aware of. You remember the clan and I just returned from our trip to the land of fire, and the Prankster Duo have been up to their old tricks with some new twists so I haven’t been as diligent as I could have been. Yet, when I woke up this morning to the beautiful sounds of your Zombies shambling up my porch and demanding entrance, I decided it was now time to drop you a line…or two.
I realize you need your alone time, but Eerie, my love, if you don’t leave a keeper for your Zombies, they get restless and that leads to trouble. You would not believe how loud the Swamp Thing can scream when they forget to wipe their feet before entering her place. A little blood, a few intestines, and she goes berserk. We had to steer clear of her for a good couple of days before it was safe to even breathe in her general direction.
For the walking dead, your pets didn’t take long to catch on that perhaps messing with the Swamp Thing and her housekeeping was not the way to remain upright. Have you seen her with her flamethrower? She’s got mad skills.
Unfortunately the shambling horde made their way down to Hippy’s place near evening the other night and by the time the sun rose, Hippy was gone. All that was left was a note stuck to a tree trunk at knife-point. It seems he found a new homestead with a few less pests hanging around. I know, he’ll be fine, he’s a trained warrior with lots of experience under his belt but still…wish there had been time to throw him a going away party. Ah well, I’m sure we’ll hear from him once he’s settled.
I sent the Prankster Duo out to lead your dessicated gang on a merry chase. So far it seems to be working, I can hear the Duo giggling in-between the moans and groans of the horde chasing them. I’m a little worried your Zombies may be missing a few more parts by the time you get home.
On another note, I’m sending The Whip-Mistress out to have a little chat with our muses. They’ve been spending way too much time at Fillet Your Own Deli. I don’t know if it’s that barkeep Quirky uses as a muse that’s keeping them well hydrated, but I really need my Muse to get her ass back over here. I got home ready to write and she was no where to be found. Rumor has it, she’s been spending way too much time playing knife games and heckling visitors with a white hair, tool belt wearing, whiskey swilling grump. Safe to assume, he’s yours.
Hopefully The Whip-Mistress will kick him…I mean…point him in the right direction so perhaps you’ll be able to come down from on high. If not, send a note back with Mischievous and I’ll send out the Duo to pick you up. It may take awhile, they’re easily distracted by shiny objects and unwary travelers. Hopefully you’ll make it home soon. Smokey’s got a fantastic feast planned, and Sunny’s decorated the meeting place so it almost looks…welcoming. See you soon!
Love,
Wicked
PS Could you pick up some swamp gator? I hear it makes good eatin’.
