You think you know Hugo winner @seananmcguire – think again!

We’ve been trying to classy up the Swamp lately. This involves shanghai-ing…err..gently persuading some really cool peeps to stop by for a few and answer some truly insightful questions.  This week we were able to lure the one and only Seanan McGuire to our destination of mold, mildew, and spongy ground.  For those who haven’t met her before, let me introduce Seanan. She is the mad genius behind the Urban Fantasy October Daye series and the truly fun InCryptid series. Her podcast, The SF Squeecast just picked up a Hugo award. Born and raised on the West Coast of North America, she currently shares a crumbling farm house with her three improbably large cats, her large collection of horror movies, and enough books to qualify as a library under local zoning laws.  She has no qualms about cuddling rattlesnakes, but weather terrifies her.  When not writing, she enjoys visiting haunted cornfields, collecting creepy dolls, and watching too much television.  Sometimes she’s her own evil twin, Mira Grant. 

She really doesn’t sleep much.

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Try not to scare her away!

If you were to hold a dinner party for six, who would you invite and share at least one question you would have for each? Your guests don’t have to be alive and if you really want to make it fun, you can use favorite fictional characters.

I’m assuming my guests would be functionally alive for the duration of the party, at least, or we’re potentially sitting at the table with a bunch of corpses, and that would be…bad.  Very, very bad.

I don’t know, Seanan, Eerie’s Zombies tend to have some table manners.  We have managed to keep them from leaving pieces behind or leaking over the table.

So I would invite Stephen King and ask him about language; James Gunn and ask him about what he would have done in Slither II; Andrew Volpe and ask him about music; Walt Disney and ask him about imagination; and my friends Michelle “Vixy” Dockrey and Catherynne Valente, because seriously, if I had a dinner party with those people and didn’t invite Cat and Vixy, they would have a keep-away party with my internal organs.

 You might need to set a few extra spots, I think Eerie may crash your dinner party and I would be the plus one…

As children we tend to have an idea of what we want to be by the time we’re ten.  Before you decided to pursue the artistic dream of being a writer, what did you want to be and why?

I actually wanted to be a Broadway performer when I was younger!  I did years of voice and dance lessons, and appeared in quite a few productions here on the West Coast.  Sadly, a spinal injury took dancing off the table, and I was forced to refocus my ambitions.

That totally sucks, but on the positive side, we get to go on adventures with Toby and the Price family!

If your character(s) came with a warning label, what would it say?

Warning: Contents under pressure.  Contains language.  Some concepts may be too complicated for after-midnight reading.  Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

                  *makes note to find out story behind Happy Fun Ball*

If you turned your laptop/computer/pen/typewriter (yes, some of still use these!) over to your character(s), how would they describe you?

…oh.  Oh, that would end poorly.  “Die die die die die die bitch die die die” is probably the more socially acceptable part of that little screed.

                                 *snort* I think a few of mine would jump all over that band wagon, complete with a burning effigy.

We all have favorite characters, either main or secondary, and there are always bits and pieces of them we don’t share with our readers, but keep close to our hearts.  Choose your favorite from your cast of characters and tell us a couple of things that you haven’t shared in your books/writing.

Since all my series are ongoing, I actually intend to share most things, given sufficient time.  It’s one of the nice parts of being a series author (although I very much envy people who can think in stand-alones).  Quentin, from the Toby Daye books, loves hockey.  He’s a good Canadian boy and he appreciates his nation’s favorite pastime.  He actually has fantasies about getting Toby to a hockey game and watching her expression when she realizes that blood will bounce on ice.

                                    That’s kind of cool, I hadn’t imagine Quentin into Hockey, basketball..not the nice one, but street style…very cool…

Personally, I tend to be a bit on the introverted side so the thought of being in the actual presence of one of my favorite writers makes my heart race, my knees shake and tangles my tongue (yes classic fan girl behavior).  Who could reduce you to such a level and how do you imagine your initial meeting?

Stephen King, definitely.  I fully expect to lose the power of coherent speech if I ever manage to meet him.  I think if we do meet, it will be through the efforts of a mutual friend, who will stand there and laugh as I stare and whimper.

                                   Maybe you can prepare pre written signs a la the Roadrunner?

Growing up, what was your favorite book, comic, game or movie and did you create a character/player that might resemble you?

You actually asked the self-insert character question!  I salute you.  I used to tell myself stories where I’d get to meet my favorite characters, but I never committed any of them to paper.  My favorite movie growing up was Little Shop of Horrors, and I actually never did a self-insert there, although I’ve been in the musical seven times, and have played every female character except for Audrey.

                                  Here I thought it was just me who was strange enough to do this, but I think it’s like training wheels for writers, playwrights, actors…

Many writers have that first novel which will never see the light of day. Out of curiosity, do you have one stashed somewhere?  Inquiring minds want to know: what was  your first attempt at writing and how old were you?

My first serious attempt at writing was a fourteen-page essay when I was nine, explaining to my mother why she had to let me read Stephen King.  It had footnotes and a bibliography.  I finished my first book when I was twelve.  It was called Dracula’s Castle, and if I knew where it was, I’d probably put it online.

                                      Since my Prankster Duo would do something like this, I have to ask, did she let you read it?

Whether we’re plotters or pantsers (outlines not needed), creating our stories takes us on very memorable journeys.  Sometimes we may be part way through before we realize some major aspect of our story is just not working (plot, character, setting).  Have you ever hit this sharp, pointy snag and if so, how did you escape? We’re you battered and bruised or a bloody mess?

When in doubt, blow shit up.

                                      Niiiiceeee….

Share one uniquely strange experience you’ve had that remains crystal clear to this day.

I worked for the phone company for a while as a process engineer, and there was one summer where they sent me everywhere.  I had almost no time at home or with my cats, and I was exhausted.  I stopped enjoying travel, and I started having travel troubles for the first time in my life.  Then, when I arrived in Florida after a bad flight, I got picked up by a black van at the taxi stand, and the driver kept pointing out things that weren’t normal tourist things, like the gator farms and where the good movie theaters were.  Just as we reached my hotel, he looked at me in the rearview and said, “You’ve been having a bad time lately.  Some bad trips.  But don’t worry.  That’s all over now.”  And he was right.  Things got better after that.

                                            How cool is that?

What’s some of the funniest/sweetest/strangest things you’ve heard from your readers?

I have the best readers.  A lot of them have named cats after my characters, which I take as high praise.  And one reader’s seven-year-old memorized a song of mine, “Wicked Girls,” when she had to take a poem to her first grade class.  I consider that the sweetest thing ever.

                                          Wow! A poem? That is truly the best thing ever!

What’s the one genre you won’t ever try and why?

Probably military sci-fi.  I don’t have the background, and I would have real trouble with the details.

What is some of the best advice you were ever given?

Never measure yourself against anyone else.  Their stories aren’t yours to tell, and guess what?  Your stories aren’t theirs.

                                               I’ll have to remember this one…

What is the best advice you can share with others?

Read.  Write.  Revise.  Don’t read the comments, ever.  Play nicely with the other children, even if you don’t like them.  Nastiness never did any long-term good.  Support your peers; someday you may need them to support you.  Success is not a zero-sum game.  Your story is not done.

And now for the bullet questions you all love…are you ready?

Blades, guns, fists or feet?

Tank.

Favorite Fairy Tale of all time?

The Three Sisters, variant four, happy ending version, AT tale type 713-b.

Three titles and their authors sitting on your nightstand/bookcase/table/floor waiting to be read?

              Crops and Robbers, by Paige Shelton; Forbidden, by Kelley Armstrong; Virus X, by Frank Ryan.

Greatest one liner of all time?

“Bet you wish you’d gone to Hollywood with me now, don’t you, Bill?”

Sarcastic witticism, Southern sweetness or Geeky disdain?

Sarcasm, all the way.

Strangest item currently taking up space in your writing cave?

My 20+ pound blue classic tabby and white Maine Coon, Alice.

threecats012

Favorite supernatural creature?

It varies from day to day.  Right now, the mermaid.

A big, huge thank you to Seanan for taking the time to be with us today. She’s definitely help add a little pizzaz to our place!  Want more Seanan McGuire? Don’t fret, her latest release is Midnight Blue-Light Special, the second book in her InCryptid series.  These urban fantasy cryptozoology adventures follow the Price family as they do their best not to get eaten by anything unpleasant.  The series began with Discount Armageddon, and there are several free short stories on Seanan’s website, at www.seananmcguire.com.

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Hellos and Goodbyes…

It’s been awhile since we’ve visited the Swamp and her inhabitants. Today I thought you might like to take a peek into our little farewell get together for Mighty, who shall remain with us via the technology gods until her return, and meet our newest member…

Wicked: *shoving Might’s duffle on to the back of the lopsided jackass*  Why the hell are you going to the Windy City? Between the Werewolf Monks and Eerie’s Free Range Zombies, I would’ve thought we had enough drama for you.

Mighty:*stashing her Staff of Bull Shark Repellent*  You know how it is, money’s a little tight and those Bull Sharks aren’t going to leave the lake any time soon. I’m just going to make sure they don’t pass beyond where they’re allowed.

Snarky: *lazily curling and uncurling her whip*  I can whip them into shape.

Mighty: *look of indulgent disdain*  Your whip is not going to reach.

*Overhead Mischievous calls out*:  Hey Mighty, you ready to lose a few fingers and toes?  The temps over there will keep you in deep freeze.  *He cackles at his lame attempt at humor*

Mighty: *rolling her eyes across the road. Picks them up and puts them back in*:  That bird would be great fried.

Wicked: *grinning in agreement, even as the Prankster Duo comment on Mighty’s gory trick*  Yeah, but I think Eerie might take exception to our meal plans.

Eerie: *taking his Free Range Zombies for a walk with chains and a pointy stick*  What meal plans? The Werewolf Monks have been promising me a new vintage, I could pester them for it.

*A cloud of smoke drifts over* Smokey: “Just took down a mastodon over by Swamp Thing’s place. It’s been smoking nicely for the last few days. I’ll have my Spicy Bit bring it over. We don’t want you heading off without a full belly, Mighty.

Quirky: *practicing knots with some newly purchased ropes*  The Muses headed out a few hours ago, so we could probably hang over at Filet Your Own Deli without worrying about another knock down drag out argument over the use of details or lack thereof.

Dreamer *arms full of colorful blooms and Angel Boy fluttering around her ankles*  What about your cabin, Mighty? Do you need someone to pop in and keep an eye on things for you?

Mighty: *the smirk we all know and love but have learned to be wary of appears* Nah, I forgot to mention I found someone to cabin sit while I’m gone.  That way it’ll still be standing, Zombie Free, when I get back.

Dreamer *beatific smile appears* It’s so nice to have new blood in the community.  So much to play with…*a small blush*  I mean, perhaps they’ll have new playmates for Angel Boy.  *Turns to Wicked and Snarky*  No offense girls, but I believe your progeny may be perhaps a bit too adventurous for mine right now.

Wicked & Snarky exchange high fives.  

Wicked: None taken…

Snarky:  So this new peep.  What’s the deal? Who are they? Where are they from? Most importantly, can they pass the Swamp Entry Exam?

*A loud pop and a blue telephone booth appears and settles in the road. Red Dwarf steps out

Red: Good eve, all, I thought I’d pop in before tea to bid Mighty adieu.  

*A small blond races from behind Red and joins forces with the Prankster Duo, where upon a discussion of how Yoda took down Darth in this year’s Star Wars March Madness*

Red: Did I hear something about an entrance exam? I thought we’d straightened that out months ago.  Besides, I don’t see any dead bodies lying around. Everyone’s here–Snarky, Wicked, Smokey, Quirky, Eerie, Dreamer, Mighty, myself…doesn’t that put us one over?

Eerie *capturing a wondering single hand and wrestling it back in line*  Even though you’re over the Pond and Mighty will soon be in the Land of Winds and You-betchas, we’ve decided to allow one more individual into the group.

Quirky:  We did? When?

Wicked: It was during the brawl over at the Kilted Ferret pub when we had to hold off that damn Molly and her two henchboys from Eerie’s Three Misfiteers.  

Quirky: *flying fingers and rope pause before continuing their dizzy dance*  Oh yeah.  So, who is the new person?

Mighty: *tossing another package on top of the lopsided jackass* I’d introduce you all, but she’s been here the whole time, so I ‘ll let her do the honors.

*All seven dwarves start checking out their surroundings*

Eerie: Short? Tall? Gnome? Troll? What exactly are we looking for here? And a name would be good.

*Mighty smiles and continues to finish her packing*

*From behind him a shadow separates and forms into a petite, lithe form*  Names are not to be given lightly, small man.

Eerie: *huffs up to his full three foot one inch height* Who you calling small?

Wicked: *arms folded so knives are in easy reach* Nice move there, I need to introduce you to Raine.

Snarky: *lets her whip snap, crackle and pop*  And you would be…

*Shadow girl drops a very elegant bow* I am called Ninja Dwarf.

Quirky: *looking intrigues*  Wow! Totally cool, we get our very own ninja!

Free Range Organic Zombies are Afoot

Greetings and Salutations loyal readers of the blog,

As reported last week the herd of zombies my friend Mischievous Raven and I were raising to supply various industries with Free Range Organic Zombies (trademarked) escaped.  I mentioned that some companies were suing us because of breach of contract.  The entertainment industry is especially blood thirsty it seems when you don’t deliver your product on time.  To add insult to loss of income there are rumors of all the Kings men and all the Kings horses heading our way because some people have lost loved ones to a zombie feeding frenzy.  Now, while I am responsible for the afore mentioned  shamblers escaping, no one can convince me that they can discern one of my Free Range Organic Zombies (trademarked) from the more common feral dead heads that populate the realm.

Just the same Mischievous and I are planning a retreat to Troll Mountain We’ll wait until the public clammer for our heads on a pike to settle down.  You laugh–I tell you they were combing the swamp with torches and pitch forks last night.  It was a scene right out the famous documentary, Young Frankinstien.  Not so funny when it’s your head they have in mind for the end of the pike.  Plus as you may know dwarves are not fond of heights, and that pike is very long.  I’m afraid my head would get dizzy.

Of course the Trolls are no treat to deal with either.  My hope is that we will be able to out riddle them until such time that we can make our way home.  Mischievous is particularlly adept at riddles and his wise cracking nature should keep us safe for a time anyway.  I’m happy to report that The Three Misfiteers have been appeased by my most recent efforts to get their story published.  That at least is a little good news.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the extraordinary Lynn Rush.  She was gracious enough to vist our steamy swamp yesterday and answer all Wicked’s questions and autograph books for fans.  My muse was impressed with her speedy transportation although he prefers bulk over speed. His fully armored and armed HUM-V are proof of that.  His love of all things mechanical had him drooling over the speed she could squeeze out of two wheels.  He tried to hide it from me, but rumor has it he made Mischievous Raven get Lynn’s new release Violet Dawn autographed for him.  Sorry Lynn, but my muse has a tough guy reputation to maintain.

Violet Dawn

Next week we’ll pick up our talk about characters and what makes them click for you the reader.  I will be asking for you to contribute one of your favorite fictional characters so start thinking about now.  As usual I’ll leave you with a quotation.

This one come from the movie Silence Of The Lambs in honor of yesterdays guest Lynn Rush.

Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

Write On,

Eerie Dwarf

Chandler Klang Smith

Greetings and Salutations loyal readers of the blog.

If you were up early this morning looking for the Friday edition of Swamp News I apologize.  Things have gotten a little out of hand this week.  It seems my stable of Zombies went rogue this week.  Yes you heard it here first hundreds of Free Range Organic Zombies are on the loose.  That’s the good news.  The bad news is Mischievous Raven and I are being sued for orders of zombies we are unable to ship.  I’ve hired C.Rock Adile as our council to represent us.  He was the only reptile willing to take the case.  So needless to say things are beyond business as usual.

In our continuing effort to include some content on the craft of writing (and being too busy to write something myself) this week I’m reposting Chuck Sambuchino’s column 7 THINGS I’VE LEARNED SO FAR.  from Writer’s Digest March 20, 2013

Click on the link for giveaways and comments.http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/7-things-ive-learned-so-far-by-chandler-klang-smith?et_mid=610051&rid=149100502

Please say hello to Chandler Klang Smith whose wisdom far exceeds her years.

 

Goldenland-Past-Dark      Chandler-Klang-Smith

Chandler Klang Smith is a graduate of Bennington College and the 
Creative Writing MFA Program at Columbia University, where she 
received a Writing Fellowship. She lives in New York City. Her March
2013 novel GOLDENLAND PAST DARK is about a hostile stranger 
hunting a ramshackle travelling circus across 1960s America. Learn
more about the book here.

1. A novel is a kingdom that you alone can rule. As author, you have the divine right to do anything you want in your fiction, even over the objections of your most trusted advisors. But as they say, “Heavy is the head that wears the crown” – you aren’t without obligations to the work just because power over it is yours. To the contrary, you are both totally free to make whatever choices you please, but also totally responsible for the consequences. At times, no one else may be able to articulate what’s wrong or missing from your book, but that doesn’t mean that nothing is. You cannot sit complacent in your castle, relying only on the view from your balcony. You must spend time in the alleys and on the backroads, listening to the whispers of secret voices. You must know the people and landscapes of your private country better than anyone else does, or you’ll never properly reign over them.

2. A novel is the dark space under your bed. You know without looking that there are things in the shadows that scare you, things you don’t want to see. But it is your job as the novelist to shine the light past the dust bunnies and lost socks, into the teeth of the monster. In Mark Danielewski’s House of Leaves, he makes this darkness literal – his characters have to descend into a void that’s opened up in the center of their home. But even if your book doesn’t turn to horror, there will be questions you raise that you don’t want to answer, topics that come up that you wish to avoid. It’s a temptation to write around these things, and people do, but your fiction will never be amazing if it doesn’t face the fear and threat it generates head-on.

(Writing Critiques — how to deal with them.)

3. A novel is an undertaking for the writer, but also for the reader. I loved going to an MFA program, but one thing an MFA program does not prepare you for is the fact that, outside the context of a classroom, you are not entitled to have someone sit down and read your work thoroughly cover to cover just because you finished a draft. Your instinct may be to react with indignation when agents, editors, or even friends give your book a cursory read, or never reach the end. And sometimes it’s true that they’re simply lazy or overworked. But it’s important to remember that someone’s passionate attention, in art as in life, isn’t something you deserve just for showing up. It’s something you have to earn.

4. A novel is a house (not a storage shed). Novels seem roomy, with space enough for anything you can imagine, but if you’re a hoarder, no mansion will accommodate all your newspapers and cats. If writing a certain passage bores you, it will bore anyone who encounters it. Throw away the clutter, the parts that you would skip over as a reader. “But what if I need a transition to get me from point A to point B?” you may ask, at which point I’d direct you to the “Time Passes” section of To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. That passage takes a pedestrian narrative aim – marking the passage of ten years – and turns it into a breathtaking meditation on the nature of existence and mortality. Make every page of your novel a space worth lingering in.

5. A novel is a fractal. Though fractals might appear to be nothing more that random paisleys or swirling blobs of tie-dye, they are mathematically generated to be self-similar at every scale. That means that, as you zoom closer and closer in on a fractal image, you’ll see that the same pattern is constantly repeating itself everywhere, even at a level that’s invisible to the casual viewer. Novels should operate the same way: the obsessions of the book should assert themselves even in seemingly inconsequential scenes and details, in minor characters and metaphorical language. If an element is crucial to your conception of the work, it isn’t enough for it to come up once, at a dramatic turning point. It has to be present everywhere, all the time. The king of fractaled writing is Thomas Pynchon, whose novels often employ a host of wildly diverse characters and subplots but nonetheless continually return to the same focal elements: the animate vs. the inanimate in V., the parabola in Gravity’s Rainbow, boundaries that divide above from below in Mason & Dixon, etc.

(How to support authors and their book releases.)

6. A novel is a love letter. I don’t believe that thinking about “audience” in the traditional sense is helpful, at least not if your aims are artistic. Soft drink commercials are for a demographic; literature is for individuals. But I do believe that considering the individual you’re writing for – his knowledge, his concerns, his likely reactions – can help clarify what you’re doing on the page. Writing is an act of communication between humans. It’s not a transmission blared out into the void. If you think of yourself as writing your novel for someone who cares (either an actual person or a hypothetical ideal reader), in a sincere attempt to connect, you’ll be more generous, more truthful, more expansive in your vision.

7. A (finished) novel is just the beginning. When I finally completed the last edits on Goldenland Past Darkand sent it off to press, I felt many things, but one was a crushing sense of disappointment in myself – not because I thought the book was bad, but because the whole process taught me so many new things about writing that I’m only just starting to put to good use. “I should have waited to publish,” I thought, “until I knew what I know now.” Then it occurred to me that if I continue to grow and develop as a novelist, I’m going to feel this way at the end of every project for the rest of my life. I don’t know if that’s a depressing or hopeful thought to end on… I’ll leave it to you to decide.

This weeks quotation comes from Bruce Springsteen’s ThunderRoad.

“There were ghosts in the eyes
Of all the boys you sent away
They haunt this dusty beach road
In the skeleton frames of burned out Chevrolets”

Write On,

Eerie Dwarf

 

Things You Didn’t Know About the Awesome Faith Hunter @hunterfaith #faithhunter #JaneYellowrock

Just when you thought you had a handle on what you know about your favorite writers, you discover there is so much more to know! Faith Hunter, author of the Jane Yellowrock Urban Fantasy novels and Rogue Mage Fantasy series, was sweet enough (and brave enough) to share a little of herself with us!  Dare you to take a peek!

If you were to hold a dinner party for six, who would you invite and share at least one question you would have for each? Your guests don’t have to be alive and if you really want to make it fun, you can use favorite fictional characters. 

Well, if they were dead, they probably wouldn’t come to the party. And, if they did, they probably wouldn’t help the ambience with their rotten stink. Or their rattle-y bones if they’d been gone a long while. And if they were zombies, they’d try to eat our brains, not the food I’d so carefully prepared. So I guess I’ll pass on this one. Oh. Wait. They can be alive???

           Wow, you’d cook for them? Brave, brave Faith.  I don’t think they’d still be breathing if I had to cook. Although that     would make some interesting dinner conversation…hmmm…

As children we tend to have an idea of what we want to be by the time we’re ten.  Before you decided to pursue the artistic dream of being a writer, what did you want to be and why?

I wanted to be a nurse so I could help people. Then I found out nurses sometimes have to wash people’s butts, and I decided to become a lab tech. I only later discovered that lab techs have to do tests on poop. My bad.

         *snort* Yeah, that might take some getting used to…

If your character(s) came with a warning label, what would it say?

Warning! Warning Will Robinson! Warning!   (laughing) You have to like old scifi to appreciate this one.

         Hey! Who you calling old? I love that line…actually used it on my Knight in Slightly Muddy Armor the other day *grin*

Personally, I tend to be a bit on the introverted side so the thought of being in the actual presence of one of my favorite writers makes my heart race, my knees shake and tangles my tongue (yes classic fan girl behavior).  Who could reduce you to such a level and how do you imagine your initial meeting?

I adore two actors: George Clooney and Mark Harmon. A-D-O-R-E! If got to meet either actor, I’d probably blubber like I was having a stroke. And then cry. And then pass out. All of which could be worse.

           Only if they didn’t catch you. Think of the possibilities if they did, though…

Growing up, what was your favorite book, comic, game or movie and did you create a character/player that might resemble you?

Wonder Woman. She was tall and skinny and athletic and had big boobs and wore a big cape. I was successfully psychic in the boobs part. And I do love scarves which might be considered a type of cape. As for the rest, I guessed totally wrong.

Share one uniquely strange experience you’ve had that remains crystal clear to this day.

I remember a 4 day trek up to Nantahala. It was cold and raining and wet and miserable, and the RV was full of river-stinky wet gear, and wet, cold, stinky river paddlers (some of whom didn’t feel like showering because it was only Wednesday). And I was stressed and exhausted. Deadlines looming. Needing to get home. And because I had promised to join everyone, we geared up in our cold wet river gear and went down the river.

We were the only people on the water.

Mist fell down the sides of the gorge like a waterfall of clouds. Birds sang like they were calling for the last warm days of summer to return, and to remember them. The water called back with a muted roar of joy and power. The river carried us along like the veins of mother earth. I got out front at one point, and a bird flew along beside my boat, just us, alone on the water. Wings outspread in a slow glide, he watched me with one quirky eye, sharing some great bit of bird wisdom about flight with his water-bound cousin. Rain fell and dimpled the surface of the river in the places where it was smooth. Raindrops mixed with my tears until I couldn’t tell the difference between the tears of the earth and my own.

And I was restored.

That river trip was a thing of great worth, a priceless, un-match-able experience. I returned home relaxed and calm. And I met my deadline. I carry that river trip in my memory like a precious thing. And when I’m stressed, and having panic attacks, and feeling like a failure, I remember that trip. And that bird, gliding beside me, sharing the experience of the cold and the wet.

             Wow, Faith, that actually made me tear up! It sounds so incredibly beautiful.  It’s those type of moments that restore your creativity and sense of wonder.  Something every person needs! Thank you for sharing.

What’s the one genre you won’t ever try and why?

Erotica. My sex scenes suck. Wait. That came out aaaaaall wrong.

     *snorting coffee through nostrils* Seriously, you are a dangerous woman when hot beverages are involved!  I know I feel like the closet perv when doing my scenes.  Hunched over the keyboard, office door closed, continuously checking to make sure the Knight, the Hellhound or the Prankster Duo aren’t lurking behind me.

Now it’s time for our favorite bullet questions!

Blades, guns, fists or feet?

Yes.

Favorite Fairy Tale of all time?

Snow White and the 7 Dwarves, of course. Wait. Was that not politically correct here?

No worries, what is said in the Swamp, stays in the Swamp!

Three titles and their authors sitting on your nightstand/bookcase/table/floor waiting to be read? 

I only have two waiting: 1. Kim Harrison’s Ever After. 2. Patricia Briggs’ Frost Burned.

Greatest one liner of all time?

Go ahead … Make my day.

Sarcastic witticism, Southern sweetness or Geeky disdain?

Yes. Each as appropriate.

Strangest item currently taking up space in your writing cave?

Hmmm. That would be either the boar skull (complete with tusks) or the free rang anole lizard named Longfellow. He is sleeping in an orchid as I write this, but he spent today running up and down the shelves that hold the orchids.

Favorite supernatural creature?    

Angels. Not the pretty lady kind, but the warrior kind — mean brutes with the swords of justice and armor. I mean, really. Kickass gorgeous males with wings and swords? How cool is that?

Intrigued are you? Good, because here’s a look at Faith’s latest release, BLOOD TRADE:

Blood Trade Cover

The Master of Natchez, Mississippi has a nasty problem on his hands. Rogue vampires—those who follow the Naturaleza and believe that humans should be nothing more than prey to be hunted—are terrorizing his city. Luckily, he knows the perfect skinwalker to call in to take back the streets.

But what he doesn’t tell Jane is that there’s something different about these vamps. Something that makes them harder to kill—even for a pro like Jane. Now, her simple job has turned into a fight to stay alive…and to protect the desperately ill child left in her care.

Available now at AMAZON  and  BARNES AND NOBLE!

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Faith Hunter has written the Jane Yellowrock series and the Rogue Mage series, as well as the RPG Rogue Mage. Several of her novels have appeared on the New York Times and USA Today Bestseller lists, and she has four new books under contract. Under the pen name Gwen Hunter, she has written action adventure, mysteries, and thrillers. Under all her pen names, she has over 25 books in print in 27 countries.

Faith writes full-time and works full-time in a hospital (for the benefits). She’s a workaholic and playaholic who makes jewelry, collects orchids and bones, travels in her RV with her hubby and two dogs, and white-water kayaks.  Once upon a time, she also tried to keep house and cook, but since she started writing two books a year, she may have forgotten how to turn on the appliances.

Want more? You can find her:

Website   Facebook   Twitter: @hunterfaith

Good characters make writing easier

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Greetings and Salutations loyal readers of the blog,

As you can see my Pain and Torture Therapist has taken away my wheel chair and given me a cane in its place.  While I like the suave look of a stylish cane, it does nothing to help me get around in the swamp.  When I put any weight on it, the cane simply sinks into the squishy mud we call home.  On the up side I am feeling better.  Although the first few days after my luncheon with The Three Mifiteers I was feeling no pain.  I later found out the muses have kept a secret garden of Dreamers flowers growing somewhere in the Swamp and Mischievous Raven was brewing me tea from the pedals.

We’ve been talking for several weeks about characters and what makes them tick.  And as writers, how do we learn about them.  Case in point last week I was summoned to lunch by The Three Misfiteers.  Their motive as a group was to get me off my butt and do what is necessary to get their book published.

Let’s review a few of the things we learned about them as a group and as individuals.

Molly Houlihan is clearly the leader of the group and she steers them to do her bidding.  She is an in your face, confrontational, no excuses kind of gal. Her motivations are not completely selfish.  She wants what is best for The Three Misfiteers and even for me.  She is not diplomatic or apologetic.  She calls you on your bullshit and won’t accept no, I can’t, or I tried.  In short she is results oriented.  The perfect CEO.

Frank Blase, on the other hand is extremely intelligent.  He will weigh both sides of the argument, take into account strengths and weaknesses, and find a solution.  Unlike Molly he is not results oriented.  He will provide the best and worse scenarios and wait for someone else to make the final decision.  He will beat you in a debate because he is informed and can present his argument in a logical and comprehensible way.  He’s the thinker in the group and his opinion is held in high regard by Molly who ultimately will be making the decision.

Billy Hashberger is spontaneous.  He’s a doer.  His motto is do something, even if it’s wrong.  He’s impatient, flippant and reckless.  When fools rush in Billy will be in the lead.  It’s often his actions that get the Three Misfiteers into predicaments that Frank and Molly have to get them out of. On the flip side Billy will do anything for his friends with no regard for himself.  Loyal to a fault and anxious to act. Things are rarely boring when Billy’s in the vicinity.

These are the most obvious of the groups traits.  Below these are layers of complexity that it is harder to wring out.  But the more you know about the inner workings of your character the easier it is to move them through a scene, making decisions and keeping them true to themselves and the reader.

A flutter of shiny black feathers interrupts my chain of thought.  My onyx feathered friend lands in front of me.

“Eerie, are you almost done?  Don’t forget you promised to get me an advanced copy of  Faith Hunter’s new book Blood Trade before she visits next week,” Mischievous Raven blurts out.

“I’m a little busy here.”

“She coming next Thursday and you promised.”

“What’s the big deal?  It’ll be released April 2. You can get it then.”

Jane Yellowrock is the big deal.  And I was going to ask Ms. Hunter to sign it for me.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to Wicked as soon as I’m done here.  I promise we’ll get you an autographed copy.”

“Do you think she would mind signing the other five, while she’s at it?”

“I’m sure she’s very nice and will sign all your books if your polite.  But I’ll give Wicked a heads up that you have the whole Jane Yellowrock series.”

“Good.  That’s good.”  Mischievous says between breaths.

“Slow down.  Take a deep breath.”

“Okay, I’m breathing now.  Oh boy, oh boy oh, boy, Jane Yellowrock, right here in the Swamp.”

“You know Jane Yellowrock is a fictional character, right?”

“Oh yeah, I’ll tell that to Molly the next time she wants to know where you are.”

“Good point.”

I’m going to have to leave you all here so I can talk with Wicked about Mischievous’ request.  We’ll close with a quotation from Jungleland By Bruce Springsteen

“And the poets down here
Don’t write nothing at all
They just stand back and let it all be
And in the quick of the night
They reach for their moment
And try to make an honest stand
But they wind up wounded
Not even dead
Tonight in Jungleland”

Write On,

Eerie Dwarf

Writing The Hard Stuff

hwabuttonGreetings and Salutations loyal readers of the blog,

Sorry I’m late but this wheel chair is not good swamp transportation.  Which brings me to how I find myself in this particular contraption.  You may remember that I was invited to lunch by The Three Misfiteers.  Their choice of restaurant was not by chance.  They chose the famous Torture Room at The Four Demons Hotel and Spa.  It seems they are dissatisfied with the progress I’ve been making in getting their book published.

First Molly Houlihan grilled me on what steps I’ve taken.  Then Frank Blase pointed out that a person with my limited intellect should have been able to accomplish all these things in a more timely manner.  ”Even Billy could have done it faster.”  Frank pointed out.  Billy Hashberger simple waited for them to finish.  When the desert tray came around Billy selected The Rack for me.  The staff had to make some adjustments to accommodate the shortened height of a dwarf, but this was quickly accomplished and I was installed on this infernal machine.

I repeated the new pitch or blurb as wicked called yesterday in attempt to win their approval but they were not impressed.  They pointed to the success of Wicked and Snarky.  And they asked why I wasn’t able to do the same.  Billy even had an advance copy of yesterdays post by Wicked about how easy it is to write the query letter.  ”Where is the query letter for our book,” he yelled in to my sweating face.

As a dwarf I often considered doing something to improve my vertical profile, but I was thinking lifts in my shoes or some other painless technique, The Rack never came to mind.  For the obvious reason.  Molly cranked the wheel one more notch, my vision swam into blackness and I heard her exclaim, “I guess we shouldn’t kill him…yet.”

The next thing I remember is waking up in my pad with Mischievous Raven fussing over me.  Needless to say, I’ve had to set my zombie novel aside for a time so that I can show real progress on getting The Three Misfiteers out before the public eye.  This includes the perfect pitch, hook line, query letter, platform from which to launch the book when it’s published and some serious pain killers.  The Rack is toughest on knees and shoulders.

Sitting here working I’m reminded of Paul Sheldon, who fell into the hands of Annie Wilkes (his number one fan) from Misery by Stephen King.  Paul’s task was to bring Misery Chastain (the character in his romance series) back to life.  Mine is to give The Three Misfiteers an opportunity at life.  While it may appear that I have freedom, it is only an illusion, Molly, Frank and Billy can show up at any time and any place to take me back into custody and have their way with me.  And so it’s back to work for me.  Until next week then.

This weeks quote comes from a poem by Maggie Mae titled This Wild Death.  you can read the entire poem at her link http://maggiemaeijustsaythis.wordpress.com

“I am sitting in a mirror,

hurrying truth faster than it has time
to find itself,”

Write On,

Eerie Dwarf

Characters take on a life of their own

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Greetings and Salutations loyal readers of the blog,

I’m still hanging with the ghosts at the unconsecrated cemetery.  Mischievous Raven had to return to quell a Zombie uprising.  He’s taking the muses along for muscle because one raven, no matter how obnoxious, is no match for a bunch of disgruntled Zombies.  The Ghosts here, have been very hospitable if not the most uplifting group to hang with.  In truth melancholy is about the best I can hope for.  They have been entertaining though and their stories around the tombstones each night are a lot of fun.  If you define fun as having your spleen shrivel up and hide out of sheer fright.  When the sun rises they all go back to where ever they spend their days and I and my spleen get some rest.

If you’re a regular you know in the past week, we’ve talked about the characters that drive your story.  Red Dwarf mentioned the pattern for the Gang of Four and I went on about how to get to know your characters.  We’ve talked about a series bible so that your characters stay true to who they are as well as where they are.  Thanks Wicked.  Getting outside your comfort zone and writing something hard for you was Dreamer Dwarf.  She’s the one who brought this ugly little scar to light.  Of course we all want to write what makes us happy, because it’s easier.  Then Wicked brought up the dreaded Synopsis.  I don’t know if you noticed, but her moniker comes to her honestly, because a series bible and a synopsis are wicked hard to do well.

And now it’s Friday again.  Excuse me that’s the swamp line, I’ve got to take this.  Hey Molly what’s up?

I know I haven’t been submitting your book, but you know I’ve been busy and all.

Sure lunch would be great, where and when…  The Torture Room at The Four Demons.  Sounds rather ominous, I mean expensive… Okay then noon tomorrow.

Sorry about that, it would seem that I’ve been summoned by The Three Misfiteers to lunch tomorrow.  I don’t think this is a good omen for me, the last time they got inpatient with my progress on getting their story published they kidnapped my friend Mischievous Raven.  He’s still in therapy. I’m not sure if it’s because his doc is a leggy brunette, who looks good in tight jeans and boots or if he is still suffering from the trauma.

Taking a break from the writing routine today I’m going to talk about what I’ve been reading.  First of course I have to mention In The Tall Grass, a short story by the master, Stephen King and none other than Joe Hill.  You may remember Joe from my blog about A Heart Shaped Box, a novel the still chills my blood when I think back to the night I read it.  In the Tall Grass, surprised me (A constant reader as SK refers to his fans).  It takes a dark turn and just when I thought I had it figured out, well, I couldn’t have been more wrong.  I love the short fiction format.  After a day of work, nothing gives me more pleasure than starting a story when I crawl under the sheets and finishing it before my conscious brain clocks out for the day.  Then I can turn the light out and have pleasant dreams (or not so pleasant nightmares in this case) about getting lost In The Tall Grass.

Next I went on reread I Am Legend by Richard Matheson.  Mr. Matheson is a writer who, and I quote Stephen King here from an introduction from Nightmare At 20,000 Feet, “Asks no quarter and gives none.”  He is another master of short fiction.  I read this story when I was much younger and still remember how the end impacted me.  Reading it again as an adult was no different.  It is creepy.  I mean that in a good way.

Prior to these I stumbled onto Jonathan Maberry’s Pine Deep Trilogy, Ghost Road Blues, Dead Man’s Song, and Bad Moon Rising.  “What evil lurks in the hearts of man?”  Jonathan knows.  Jonathan’s telling, of the terrors that haunt the small rural town of Pine Deep kept me turning pages.  And the evil that lives beneath the surface is disquieting.  If you like Werewoves, Vampires, fathomless evil and courage.  This is a great series.  Jonathan will challenge your concepts of the afore-mentioned evil creatures, using folklore for his understanding rather than the modern-day Hollywood versions.  His current Zombie series is on my bookshelf, but I must complete my own zombie novel before I delve into it.  (I want my zombies to remain my zombies and not be influenced by Jonathan’s.

That’s all the time we have for this week.  If you like the content here at the 7evildwarves.wordpress.com click on the subscribe button or leave a comment. Your feedback is the only measure we have of knowing who’s out there.  Thanks again for stopping by.  As is the custom on Friday I shall leave you with a quotation.  This comes from the song Mr. Siegal by musician/poet Tom Waits.

“How do the Angels get to sleep  

When the Devil leaves the porch light on”

Write On,

Eerie

Characters must have character

hwabuttonGreetings and Salutations loyal readers of the blog,

I promised to fill you in on my ghostly interviews.  At first I thought I’d hit a gold mine of information.  It seems that the few who were willing to talk to me have died dreadful and violent deaths at their own hands, either on purpose or by excesses of one thing or another.   The  famous people who came to chat me up, died tragic deaths.  George Eastman (shot himself), Sid Vicious(overdose), Arshile Gorky (hung himself), Ernest Hemingway (shot himself), Diane Arbus (slit her wrists).  I was struck by the one thing they all had in common.  Their own powerlessness, some wanted to change the world, some just wanted to change their own little corner of the world.  They all suffered at the hands of their own internal demons.  Their souls were tortured beyond our ability to comprehend.  As a writer I am neither comfortable or capable of doing their stories justice at this time.  Listening to them seemed to provide then with some peace, if only temporarily.  I can’t say.  The unconsecrated cemetery is full of stories of talented people who could not find a way live in the world.  We can not change the past, but we should not blind ourselves to it either.  Listen to living, do not judge, just offer a different perspective.

On that soulful note I’d like to talk about character development today.  In my humble opinion it is the character of your characters that drives the story.  It has been said, there are only a few original plots in the world and they have been done over and over.  What makes each story original are the characters, or combination of characters, you choose to walk us through yours.

With that in mind, how do we get to know our characters so we can be true to them throughout our piece, be it flash fiction or a great literary tome.  There are many ways to do this, but one of the most interesting I’ve found is this.  Write your character into a scene that has nothing to do with what you’re working on.  For instance let them take you to lunch.  Where would they choose to meet you?  What would they order?  What do you talk about over lunch?  The SOB that is keeping them from achieving their goals, or maybe what a slug you are when it comes to writing down how they really feel.  Are there cocktails?  Do they pick up the check or leave it for you?  Are they generous tippers?  How do they treat the wait staff?  Do they order from the menu or do they have to dissect the ingredients leaving half of them off and the other half totally unrelated to what was ordered.

I’m thinking of the scene from Five Easy Pieces, when Jack Nicholson tries to order toast in a diner.  When the waitress says he can’t order toast he orders a chicken salad sandwich on toasted wheat.  He then tells the waitress to hold the lettuce, hold the tomato, hold the mayo and finally hold the chicken.  This short scene is insignificant in the overall story arc, but it tells you reams about the character.  For one he is someone used to getting what he wants, and will go to great extremes to get it.  You have to watch the entire scene for yourself to get all the character nuances.

I’ve also found this exercise can help when you’ve written yourself into a corner.  Go shopping with your protagonist, where would they shop Rodeo Drive, Wal-mart or REI Outfitters.  Have your antagonist write a letter.  What would he/she say to a friend?  What would they say about another character in your piece.  Or apply to an exclusive club or college, what assets would he/she emphasize, even more telling is what they wouldn’t say.

Sounds like great fun, no.  Of course if your like me you’ll say, but I hardly have enough time to write now.  This will only pull me away from the important stuff, IE that great literary novel the world is waiting for.  My experience is this, when my characters voice comes easy, the writing goes faster and is painless.  When I’m searching for the right word for my character the writing trudges along a dreary path that never seems to change.  So change the scenery maybe it will help.  With that I leave you with a quotation from Jim Morrison.

People fear death even more than pain. It’s strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend.

write On,

Eerie Dwarf

A WRITER’S WORK IS NEVER DONE

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Greetings and Salutations loyal readers of the blog,

Since we are all here, it’s safe to say that we made it through the Impenetrable Forest without too many incidents.  Just before we set off with all our gear in place, Mischievous Raven suggested we take some of our Free Range, Organic Zombies (Trade marked) with us.  I laughed at the idea of the zombies as protection, but once again Mischievous proved to be resourceful.  As it turned out the zombies provided us with a sort of extra camouflage.  The rancid odor of rotting flesh hid us from the creatures in the forest who rely on smell to hunt.  The biggest threat came when a flock of Piranha Hummingbirds swarmed in.  They were content to pick clean the bones of our zombie escort until they could barely fly.  We are down three dozen zombies and I don’t know how we’re going to get back yet.  I’m sure Mischievous has something under his onyx wing.

In other news around The Swamp, C. Rock Adile came out of hiding just long enough to learn that Swamp Thing has not forgotten his prediction of the end of the world based on the Myan calendar.  The last time I saw him he was swimming for all he’s worth, closely followed by Swamp Thing who was leaving quite a wake of her own.  It’s been pretty quiet other than that.  The rest of the Evil Seven all have their noses firmly against the grindstone.  That also helps to keep the muses out of trouble as their services are being pressed into action as well.

I’ll fill you in on my interviews with the ghosts next week.  Let’s get down to work shall we?

I attended The second annual Indie Author Publishing Conference and Pitchapalooza last week.  The event was put together by the folks at Changing Hands Book Store and The Phoenix Public Library.  I was overwhelmed with the amount of great content that was presented.  How to pitch your book presided over by David Henry Sterry and his beautiful wife Arielle Eckstut, was my favorite.  They are very optimistic about the future of publishing, and they said, this is the best time ever to be an author.  (Or something to that effect.)

Building your web presence, orchestrated by Evo Terra and his not quite as beautiful business partner Jeff Moriarty, is a close second.  Their energetic presentation was engaging and fun.  (Plus Jeff called me a genius because I use Srcivener to write and edit my work)

Here is the biggest thing I learned at the conference.  Drum roll please.  If you’ve completed your novel, your work has only just begun.  As it turns out literary agents and publishers are not going to come hammering on my front door and start a bidding war to publish my novel.  Okay even I’m not that foolish.  What I actually thought was, getting published is a mixture of  perseverance and luck.  The truth is, as in everything else I’ve ever applied myself to, luck is a direct result of hard work.

When I was much younger, I said to guy who had just sold his company for a lot of money,  ”You’re lucky.”  He replied, “Yeah, the harder I work the luckier I get.”  I’ve never forgotten that.  And so now I’m lacing up my work boots.  It’s going to get ugly because the things I have to do are things I’m not comfortable doing.  The issue here is, my characters have the right to be heard and it’s up to me to give them that opportunity.

Thanks one and all for stopping by, as is our custom here on Fridays I’ll leave you with a quotation.  This one comes from, Ursala K. Guin.

“The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp.  The reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story.”

Write On,

Eerie Dwarf