Hellos and Goodbyes…

It’s been awhile since we’ve visited the Swamp and her inhabitants. Today I thought you might like to take a peek into our little farewell get together for Mighty, who shall remain with us via the technology gods until her return, and meet our newest member…

Wicked: *shoving Might’s duffle on to the back of the lopsided jackass*  Why the hell are you going to the Windy City? Between the Werewolf Monks and Eerie’s Free Range Zombies, I would’ve thought we had enough drama for you.

Mighty:*stashing her Staff of Bull Shark Repellent*  You know how it is, money’s a little tight and those Bull Sharks aren’t going to leave the lake any time soon. I’m just going to make sure they don’t pass beyond where they’re allowed.

Snarky: *lazily curling and uncurling her whip*  I can whip them into shape.

Mighty: *look of indulgent disdain*  Your whip is not going to reach.

*Overhead Mischievous calls out*:  Hey Mighty, you ready to lose a few fingers and toes?  The temps over there will keep you in deep freeze.  *He cackles at his lame attempt at humor*

Mighty: *rolling her eyes across the road. Picks them up and puts them back in*:  That bird would be great fried.

Wicked: *grinning in agreement, even as the Prankster Duo comment on Mighty’s gory trick*  Yeah, but I think Eerie might take exception to our meal plans.

Eerie: *taking his Free Range Zombies for a walk with chains and a pointy stick*  What meal plans? The Werewolf Monks have been promising me a new vintage, I could pester them for it.

*A cloud of smoke drifts over* Smokey: “Just took down a mastodon over by Swamp Thing’s place. It’s been smoking nicely for the last few days. I’ll have my Spicy Bit bring it over. We don’t want you heading off without a full belly, Mighty.

Quirky: *practicing knots with some newly purchased ropes*  The Muses headed out a few hours ago, so we could probably hang over at Filet Your Own Deli without worrying about another knock down drag out argument over the use of details or lack thereof.

Dreamer *arms full of colorful blooms and Angel Boy fluttering around her ankles*  What about your cabin, Mighty? Do you need someone to pop in and keep an eye on things for you?

Mighty: *the smirk we all know and love but have learned to be wary of appears* Nah, I forgot to mention I found someone to cabin sit while I’m gone.  That way it’ll still be standing, Zombie Free, when I get back.

Dreamer *beatific smile appears* It’s so nice to have new blood in the community.  So much to play with…*a small blush*  I mean, perhaps they’ll have new playmates for Angel Boy.  *Turns to Wicked and Snarky*  No offense girls, but I believe your progeny may be perhaps a bit too adventurous for mine right now.

Wicked & Snarky exchange high fives.  

Wicked: None taken…

Snarky:  So this new peep.  What’s the deal? Who are they? Where are they from? Most importantly, can they pass the Swamp Entry Exam?

*A loud pop and a blue telephone booth appears and settles in the road. Red Dwarf steps out* 

Red: Good eve, all, I thought I’d pop in before tea to bid Mighty adieu.  

*A small blond races from behind Red and joins forces with the Prankster Duo, where upon a discussion of how Yoda took down Darth in this year’s Star Wars March Madness*

Red: Did I hear something about an entrance exam? I thought we’d straightened that out months ago.  Besides, I don’t see any dead bodies lying around. Everyone’s here–Snarky, Wicked, Smokey, Quirky, Eerie, Dreamer, Mighty, myself…doesn’t that put us one over?

Eerie *capturing a wondering single hand and wrestling it back in line*  Even though you’re over the Pond and Mighty will soon be in the Land of Winds and You-betchas, we’ve decided to allow one more individual into the group.

Quirky:  We did? When?

Wicked: It was during the brawl over at the Kilted Ferret pub when we had to hold off that damn Molly and her two henchboys from Eerie’s Three Misfiteers.  

Quirky: *flying fingers and rope pause before continuing their dizzy dance*  Oh yeah.  So, who is the new person?

Mighty: *tossing another package on top of the lopsided jackass* I’d introduce you all, but she’s been here the whole time, so I ‘ll let her do the honors.

*All seven dwarves start checking out their surroundings*

Eerie: Short? Tall? Gnome? Troll? What exactly are we looking for here? And a name would be good.

*Mighty smiles and continues to finish her packing*

*From behind him a shadow separates and forms into a petite, lithe form*  Names are not to be given lightly, small man.

Eerie: *huffs up to his full three foot one inch height* Who you calling small?

Wicked: *arms folded so knives are in easy reach* Nice move there, I need to introduce you to Raine.

Snarky: *lets her whip snap, crackle and pop*  And you would be…

*Shadow girl drops a very elegant bow* I am called Ninja Dwarf.

Quirky: *looking intrigues*  Wow! Totally cool, we get our very own ninja!

Troll Mountain Retreat

Greetings and salutations loyal readers of the blog,

I’m glad you all made the effort to meet us on Troll Mountain. As you can see the vistas are spectacular. You’ll have to pardon me if I’m inattentive. Sleep is a rare commodity, because our hosts hunt us every night. Mischievous Raven and I must keep on the move. Mischievous is sleeping, he has to keep his wits sharp in case we encounter trolls at night. It’s his job to out riddle them. Trolls are fond of riddles, but they don’t like it when they get out riddled. Last night, the biggest troll I’ve seen on this trip cornered us. He was grayish-green with a large snot bubble that kept inflating and deflating with each rattling breath.

He snatched me up in his filthy hand. “Not a whole meal but you do for starters.”

I nearly blacked from the stench emanating from his mouth.

Mischievous flapped his wings yelling obscenities before he threw down the gauntlet.” That is my dinner, thank you very much. Give him back.”

“How can it be so when I’m holding him?” The snot bubble coming ever closer to me as I dangle in mid-air.

“Perhaps a game of riddles will decide the rightful owner,” Mischievous challenged.

“What does a bird know of riddling?”

Mischievous starts. “I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?”

Snotty Troll laughed, bursting his snot bubble, “That’s EEEasy. It’s the letter E. It walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and three legs in the evening. What is it?”

“Is that all you got? Man or dwarves if you prefer the current example.” Pointing a wing in my direction. “ I never was, am always to be. No one ever saw me, nor ever will. And yet I am the confidence of all, to live and breathe on this terrestrial ball. What am I?”

“The future.” A new snot bubble is reforming, but his grip slackened slightly. “What always runs but never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never eats?”

Mischievous paused scratching his head. “A river, yes that’s it.” Strutting around doing his Mick Jagger impersonation. “At night they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?”

This time Troll scratches himself, I won’t mention where in mixed company. “Give me another.”

“If you can’t answer I win.” Mischievous strutted about again. “I’ll take my dinner now, if you please.”

“Not so. You started, so I get ask you one.”  Troll frowned in concentration. “The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?”

“Tricky one indeed” … Mischievous hummed.”

“Your answer bird, now,” Troll growled.

“All right all right. It is darkness. I win I win.”

“You must give me one more.”

“Do not.”

“Do so!”

“Not.”

“Yes you must.” Troll yelled, dropping me in the process of reaching for Mischievous.

I ran as fast as my short legs would carry me, this was not going the way I’d expected. Mischievous performed and inverted roll in mid air.

“The person who makes it, sells it. The person who buys it never uses it and the person who uses it doesn’t know they are using it. What is it?” Mischievous said as he led Troll in the other direction. Allowing me to escape we rendezvoused eary this morning.

Well enough of my adventures here in the land of the Trolls. We were going to talk about fictional characters this week. Since the sun is low on the horizon indicating our time is at hand I will be brief and we can pick this up again next week. In E. A. Poe’s The Tell-Tale Heart, the main character is never named. The story, told in the first person starts with his denial of his own madness. Instead he claims a clarity, or a sharpening of his own senses. In three pages we see this madman go completely off his rocker. Killing the old man and hiding his dismembered body below the floor boards. All the while crying his sanity, claiming that the old mans evil eye drove him to it. His denial of his own madness continues right to the end when he admits his crime to the officials. The man with no name tells a story of madness so intense and personal you can’t, not be drawn into the tale by him.

I’ve clearly run too long here, so have a great week and please tell me who your favorite fictional characters are in the comment box. We’ll talk about them next week.

This weeks quote comes from Cindy Williams.

“Dreams are the souls pantry. Keep it well stocked and your soul will never hunger.”

Write On,

Eerie Dwarf

Free Range Organic Zombies are Afoot

Greetings and Salutations loyal readers of the blog,

As reported last week the herd of zombies my friend Mischievous Raven and I were raising to supply various industries with Free Range Organic Zombies (trademarked) escaped.  I mentioned that some companies were suing us because of breach of contract.  The entertainment industry is especially blood thirsty it seems when you don’t deliver your product on time.  To add insult to loss of income there are rumors of all the Kings men and all the Kings horses heading our way because some people have lost loved ones to a zombie feeding frenzy.  Now, while I am responsible for the afore mentioned  shamblers escaping, no one can convince me that they can discern one of my Free Range Organic Zombies (trademarked) from the more common feral dead heads that populate the realm.

Just the same Mischievous and I are planning a retreat to Troll Mountain We’ll wait until the public clammer for our heads on a pike to settle down.  You laugh–I tell you they were combing the swamp with torches and pitch forks last night.  It was a scene right out the famous documentary, Young Frankinstien.  Not so funny when it’s your head they have in mind for the end of the pike.  Plus as you may know dwarves are not fond of heights, and that pike is very long.  I’m afraid my head would get dizzy.

Of course the Trolls are no treat to deal with either.  My hope is that we will be able to out riddle them until such time that we can make our way home.  Mischievous is particularlly adept at riddles and his wise cracking nature should keep us safe for a time anyway.  I’m happy to report that The Three Misfiteers have been appeased by my most recent efforts to get their story published.  That at least is a little good news.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the extraordinary Lynn Rush.  She was gracious enough to vist our steamy swamp yesterday and answer all Wicked’s questions and autograph books for fans.  My muse was impressed with her speedy transportation although he prefers bulk over speed. His fully armored and armed HUM-V are proof of that.  His love of all things mechanical had him drooling over the speed she could squeeze out of two wheels.  He tried to hide it from me, but rumor has it he made Mischievous Raven get Lynn’s new release Violet Dawn autographed for him.  Sorry Lynn, but my muse has a tough guy reputation to maintain.

Next week we’ll pick up our talk about characters and what makes them click for you the reader.  I will be asking for you to contribute one of your favorite fictional characters so start thinking about now.  As usual I’ll leave you with a quotation.

This one come from the movie Silence Of The Lambs in honor of yesterdays guest Lynn Rush.

“Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

Write On,

Eerie Dwarf

WORD CHOICES, Humdrum or Imaginative?

Greetings and Salutations loyal readers of the blog,

Troll Mountain

Sorry about missing our appointment last week I was called away.  It seems the Trolls are experiencing unusually cold weather on the mountain and are migrating south. The problem is The Swamp lies due south of Troll Mountain and once they cross the bridge there is nothing to keep them away from here.  The Muses called me in to see if I could help.  I fired off some riddles shivered and whined a lot.  I wasn’t much help until I got sick.  The coup de grace came when and I threw-up all over the Trolls feet.  Nothing like a little projectile vomiting to turn unwanted company away from your door.

I’m so happy we got that out of the way.  Today let’s talk a little about writing.  Writing is often about word choices.  The proper word choice can often turn the mundane into something entertaining.  It can’t do the impossible and make said mundane, exciting, but a unique word choice can keep the reader turning pages until the blood-letting begins.   I have an example:  Before I begin, everyone knows how to make a cup of with a tea bag, correct.  You fling a the bag into a cup, making sure not to lose the attached string, slop in an appropriate amount of scalding water, wait until it turns the color of bourbon and gulp it down.  What follows is from a tea package I tore open when I was sick last week.

“Entice fresh water to a boil and pour over a sachet of Ruby Chai.  Steep four to six minutes.  Sip and revel in this herbal’s warm and spicy rendezvous.”  (quoted from Numi Ruby Chai tea)

So when you entice water to boil do you have to coax it?  ”Come on water, you can do it.”  I’m kidding, point is while entice is not the first word that comes to mind when setting a kettle to boil, it is an interesting word choice.  It kept me reading the directions even though I know how to make a cup of tea.  Sachet is such a classy word for the little sack of tea dangling from a string, so even in my sickened state, I pushed on.  Revel, now this something we all do too little of.  I reveled at taking out the trash last night. (bad example, how about) Completing the edits in my chapter I reveled at a job well done.  (a little better)  And then closing out with rendezvous, I mean when was the last time you reveled with a mustard hot-dog’s smokey and spicy epicurean rendezvous.

You see word choice can make all the difference if you’re trying to entertain your reader.  It is the little things that take the unremarkable to an extraordinary  echelon.  So the next time you’re describing a character in the cold think about it.  How cold is it?  Is it chilly or frigid? Nippy or raw?  Cool or biting, bone-chilling, arctic, freezing.  You get the picture.  (just a reminder, one adjective should be enough)

So when it comes time to choose your words make an effort, don’t go on autopilot, engage your brain and choose carefully.  When you do, your reader will stay engaged and not go on autopilot either.

As writers we do what we do because we love it and we can’t not do it.  And when we’re done we want others to enjoy our work.  With that in mind, todays quote comes from C.S.Lewis. 

“Our joy is not complete until we share it.” 

Write On,

Eerie

AND I’M OUTTA HERE.

Greetings and salutations loyal readers of the blog,

I hope you all enjoyed the festivities at the Monastery of the Werewolf Monks last week.  If anyone knows how to celebrate a Blue Moon better than they do, I haven’t met them.  And how about the new wine they introduced, the new red had a muted coppery taste with a smooth finish and notes of entrails.  I didn’t think the white was up to par with their Oozing Puss label.  I had a good time and I hope none of my blog followers got caught in the ensuing hunt.  The Werewolf Monks can be a bit brutal during the full moon.  Still, no one parties like they do.

Your humble servant is packing for a lengthy trip outside the realm.  I’ll be gone for three weeks and already am feeling nervous about what might happen in my absence.  You may remember I had to bail my muse out of the slammer just last week.  Left to his own devices he’ll be on bender before my donkey gets clear of The Swamp.  G Anna Conda has returned from her on location shoot with National Geographic, so I asked her watch over my muse while I’m gone.  If anybody can keep him under wraps for three weeks it’s Anna.  I hope for his sake she’s had her big meal for the month or he may find himself  on the menu.

C. Rock Adile has taken to dominating open mic night on Thursdays at Slice Your Own Deli.  Rumor has it he reads from his memoirs all night. This in turn is driving away the Thursday night crowd, even the zombies are leaving.  You know it must be awful if the undead are shuffling away from the all you can eat brains buffet.

My friend and confidant, Mischievous Raven has been on the road taking orders for Blue Moon Zombie Inc, but he’s returning tonight so we can review some of the things he’ll be taking over while I’m gone.  I can’t wait to see him I’ve missed him these last few weeks.  He has an idea for taking the zombies up to Troll mountain.  According to Mischievous we would have the only Zombie Trolls.  Trolls are nasty enough without the added craving of raw, warm, flesh.  I’m not sure this is a good idea, but I’ll hear him out, mostly because you can’t shut him up.

In other news the Wharf Rats are packing up, it appears they had a successful convention this year and said they would mention it to their city dwelling friends.  I’m not sure The Swamp is ready for thousands of rats descending on it from the likes of New York, Chicago, and Philadelphia.

The leeches are still trying to sway public opinion as to their inherent goodness, but once again nobody cares.  Once a blood sucking leech always a blood sucking leech seems to be the public’s disposition on the matter.

Last week I think I promised we would talk about writing this week and we didn’t.  To be honest I have a case of vacationitis, so you’ll have to forgive me.  The next three weeks will be all about writing because I’ve recycled some of my old blogs.  So if you stop by for the stimulating literary conversation, quite frankly you made a wrong turn.  If, on the other hand, you come by so you can wriggle your toes in warm swamp mud and hear about my neighbors you’re in the right place.   I will leave you with an excerpt from a poem about writing, by the ubiquitous Charles Bukowski.

It’s from a poem titled  Neither Shakespeare nor Micky Spillane.

and you heard the angry cop curse in the 

dark

as you were led away.

all you wanted was 2 and a half or five cents word.

son of a bitch, you ached so hard to be a writer

of any kind.

why didn’t they understand?

Write On,

Eerie Dwarf

Mischievous is Coming Home

Greetings and Salutations Minions,

I’ve gotten word from The Three Misfiteers, they are pleased with my progress submitting their story out to literary agents.  They have agreed to set Mischievous free and we have made arrangements for the transfer.  I have the three Mischievous Raven Hoodies they requested ready to go.  For obvious reasons I cannot divulge the when or where the transfer is to take place.  They’ve assured me he is in fine spirits, but added if he doesn’t shut up soon they may have to tape his beak closed again.

Sending out the query letter has already reaped some results, as one very astute Literary Agency has requested the first 50 pages of my manuscript.  Because I am a writer this request had me first doing the dance of joy and then the march of dread, as I roller coaster through what if they don’t like it, what if there is some huge gaff on the first page, what if I’m delusional and they never really asked for it, what if the zombie horde intercepts it to pay me back for kicking them out of the Swamp at Christmas, what they hate the mailman who drops it off at their office, what if…

Sorry, I had to go take a pill.  What ifs aside, I’m combing through the first fifty pages checking for that huge gaff and the small ones too.  I couldn’t do this without the help of the other Evil Seven Dwarves.  (Yes that’s right, in case I failed to mention it with the abduction of MR and all.  Please welcome the newest of the Seven Evil Dwarves, ???Dwarf.  I know what your thinking seven and one make eight, but you would be wrong because we will always remain the Evil Seven, so just live it)  As I was saying I couldn’t do this without them.  So a big thanks as always for their support.

Our latest dwarf  is a wonderful writer with a sense of humor who hasn’t chosen her dwarf name yet.  We’ll have her in for an interview and she can tell you all about herself soon.

In other news around the Swamp.  The annual celebration of George Romero’s birthday is

tomorrow.  That’s right February the Fourth has snuck up me again.  (I haven’t done any shopping yet. I guess I’ll be giving away a lot of Mischievous Raven Wear)  In spite of MR’s abduction, plans for the celebration went on around here as they do every year .  The Three Misfiteers have agreed to have MR home in time for the party.  We’ve opened the gates to the Swamp and allowed some of the shamblers in for the festivities as long as they promise not to eat anyone during the party.  Slice your own Deli is catering the event of course.  And this year The Swamp Shack is setting up a complimentary open bar.  I hope the Muses will behave themselves, but honestly there isn’t much chance of that, especially with an open bar.

The Drop Dead Inn still has rooms available if you want to hang around until tomorrow for the party.  It promises to be better than ever since we’ll be celebrating Mr. Romero’s birthday and MR’s return home.  You really shouldn’t miss it.  Troll Security has been contracted to keep a lid on things, so bring some riddles with you in case you find yourself in scrape.

I’ve got to go.  It’s time to bring Mischievous home.  I’ll see you all next week in the interim I’ll leave with these words again this is from The Three Misfiteers, this is another one of Frank’s fortunes from the chinese restaurant.

“To know another is not to know his face, but to know his heart.”

Write On,

Eerie

MUSING AROUND

removes embarrassing age spots, gets rid of unwanted facial hair, takes weight off hips, busts, thighs, chin, gives you dandruff, gets rid of black heads, heartbreak of psoriasis, it's a friend it's companion, it's the only product you'll ever need.

Hey folks, how’s it hanging?  As you can see Eerie is once again AWOL.  He claims to be writing with his muse down at The Swamp Shack.  I’m not altogether sure any writing gets done down there. I do know a lot of drinking gets done and that worries me.  Don’t tell anyone, but I think  Eerie may have a problem he hasn’t come to terms with.

I know he’s looney-tunes, everyone knows that.  I’m talking about his drinking problem.  Anyway I think his muse is a bad influence on him.  And if Wicked’s muse is with him, forget about it.  That woman scares the shine from my feathers.  I’m telling you, I won’t go back there after last time.  And the booze they serve, anything called Swamp Head just can’t be good for you.

Now let’s get down to business shall we.  Two weeks ago I suggested that you all go check out my new line of fashions and accessories EVERYTHING RAVEN, at mischievous.raven@yahoo.com.  I must say that I was disappointed at the less than enthusiastic response.  So today we will be having a little fashion show.  My assistants, the trolls are eagerly waiting to encourage you with your purchases.  Kiosks are set up at every exit for your shopping convenience.  As a special one time offer today only, you will receive  a free can of Troll Repellent with every purchase.

Step right up, everyone’s a winner, bargains galore.  That’s right you too can be the proud owner of

The quality goes in before the name goes on.

the lovely ensemble being modeled by none other than Karlie Kloss.  Next up Miranda Kerr is showing off the sexier side of Raven Wear with this one piece swimsuit.  Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations, these are originals folks.  Batteries not included.

“Hey MR.”

Get away from kid, you bother me.

“Urgent phone call from Eerie sir.”

Oh, you better put him through.  What’s that Eerie?  Your breaking up.  Can you hear me now?  Eerie?  Eerie?

I think I finally lost him.  It looks like we’ll have to cut the fashion show short.   We’re having a going out of business sale, everything must go.  50 % off original retail price.  Trolls are standing by to take your orders.

“It’s unethical to rub the phone on your chest when you’re talking, Raven.”  C. Rock Adial shakes his head.

Oh, hey C. Rock. It’s impolite to eavesdrop on someone else’s phone conversation.

“I don’t think Eerie will see it that way when he hears of this blatant commercialization of his blog.”

I see.  It’s like that is it.  Maybe you’re interested in some complimentary Raven Wear.

“I cannot be bought so cheaply.  50% of the take might dim my memory.”

30% of the net.

“40% of the net and a case of the Werewolf Monks Exsanguinate the Halls wine.”

You drive a hard bargain C R.

“I served his majesty for many years.  One is apt to pick up a few things along the way.”

Yes.  I bet that’s not all you picked up,

“Are you accusing me of common thievery.”

Not at all.  I’m sure there was nothing common about it.  If you’ll excuse me I’ve got to get this show packed up incase Eerie decides to come back early.

Eerie picked out this weeks quote before he left for the shack.  Don’t forget Everything Raven is always available at mischievous.raven@yahoo.com

“Dreams are the souls pantry.  Keep it well stacked and your soul will never hunger.”

~Cindy Williams

Shop On,

Mischievous Raven

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Greetings once again my my loyal minions,

Mischievous and I are grateful to be home.  The Zombies are looking a little haggard, I’m thinking that Wicked’s Prankster  Duo might have taken a toll on them in my absence.

The 7 Evil Dwarves first annual writing retreat was a huge success.  Situated in the White Mountains, deep in troll country, we convinced our muses to buckle down and get the word count soaring.  When we arrived we had enough electronic gear to launch a space shuttle.  Yet, I believe if the power went out we would have been scratching away with pens and paper.  It was very intense.  We squeezed in lots of good food and fellowship along the way.  Every now and then someone would say something like “I need a smell, or what would you call a flesh eating humanoid, ect.”  Random answers bounced off the high ceiling of our cabin in response.

When the evening wound down we’d take a break in the hot tub and compare notes.  Then back to the keyboards where we worked until well past dark-thirty.  Of course some of us are more resilient than others and speaking for myself, well I’ve got to get my rest if I’m expected to look this good everyday.  Writing is not for the faint of heart.

I am both blessed and proud to be a member of such a dedicated and generous critique group.  My writing partners are my friends, and I count myself one, very fortunate writer to be able to sit amongst them.  When I do my daily devotions I always thank God for the many blessings He has bestowed upon this sinner.  My friends are always on that list.

When Sunday rolled around we packed up mission control.  Mixed emotions abounded as we were sad to be leaving and looking forward to getting home to our loved ones at the same time.  It took us several years of planning to actually make this happen, but I know everyone is already thinking about next year.

As is my custom I  leave you with a quote this one is from, Richard Bach.

“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.”

Write On,

Eerie

Vacation is Over, Back to Writing

We’ve safely made back to the swamp from Troll mountain, and the ooze is feeling extra nice between my toes.  My feet were drying out up there, it’s no wonder the Trolls are cranky.  All is quiet around the swamp, the zombies are happily grazing on unsuspecting folks brains.  My muse has his tool belt on and it’s time to get serious about improving my  craft.

I am always drawn to books that are character driven.  I want to know who I’m on the path with when I journey into the pages of a book.  To that end I’m reading three books on enneagrams so that I may better understand my characters.  The enneagram is a system for identifying the nine personality types: Perfectionist, Nurturer, Achiever, Romantic, Observer, Skeptic, Adventurer, Leader, and Peacemaker.

In my quest to know and understand the characters who inhabit my novel I’ve learned that being true to a personality type can be tricky.  All personalities respond to stimuli differently, but the same personality can also respond to the same stimuli in a different way.  For instance an achiever will work very hard to be seen in a good light and be liked, or the achiever can be deceptive and strive for the appearance of a hard worker and a good friend.  The great thing about writing fiction is I get to decide if he’s going to be a hero or a jerk.  How fun is that?  This is what makes character driven novels great, no one is all good or all bad, even the antagonist needs a motive.  He can’t be evil for evils sake.  Somewhere inside he believes the greater good will be served if all teenage romance vampire novelists, were tossed into a wood chipper.  (Wait that’s a good thing right? Sorry I digress.)

All personalities are influenced by the personality connecting them on the enneagram to some extent, and this too causes them to respond differently to a situation.  As with real people characters can be influenced by experience.  ”It hurts when I stick hand in the wood chipper, won’t do that again.”

Two of the books I’m reading are self-help style books giving the reader a test to find his or her personality type.  The third was written for writers and it takes a less in-depth look into each one type.  It provides an overview of the enneagram technique and describes the strengths and weaknesses of each type.  illustrating how a character will relate to another type and even opportunities for the character growth.  The problem with knowing everything about your character is you can’t put it all in the novel.  This, like all research needs to be carefully combed through and sprinkled throughout in small amounts. That of course, requires great discipline or a group of friends who can honestly critique your work.  Since discipline is a whole other topic and one I’m not the versed on I count my self fortunate to have the later.

The vertically challenged evil ones are a blessing and I can never be humble or grateful enough for the help they provide me.  so here is your heads up.  I might be including way to much personality detail in my coming submissions.  The book is ‘Believable Characters, Creating with Enneagrams’ by Laurie Schnebly.

I don’t usually do movie reviews, but as a writer I must say I enjoyed Midnight in Paris.  For all you aspiring writers I say go see it.  Warning there is NO BLOODSHED, OR GRATUITOUS SEX, but go see it anyway.

As is the custom I’ll leave you with this quote from Orson Wells in honor of the fourth of July.

“Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

Write On,

Eerie

RESCUE IS IMMINENT

Greetings and salutations,

Before we begin, I’d like to take a moment to remember Clarence Clemens, AKA The Big Man of the East Street Band.  My heart felt  condolences go out to his best friend Bruce.  Those are some mighty big shoes to fill.  He was arguably the best sax in Rock and Roll.  Personally it’s been all East Street Band all the time since the news of his passing.  ’Jungleland’ will never be the same.    The Minister of Soul.  The Secretary of the Brotherhood.  I give you Clarence Clemens.  Farewell Clarence.  God’s speed.  And remember, “Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run.”

We’re still stuck on the peak of Troll Mountain.  It has been fun throwing rocks at the trolls as they  mill about below trying to figure a way to get to me.  Hey, Mischievous, how long did my muse say it was going to take him to get here.

“You know how he is when he’s hanging with that woman.  I mean you talk about a dark side, she makes the Marquis de Sade look like Mr. Rogers.”

I know but geez, I’ve been up here a long time now.  Do you think you should go check on him?

“Not me, he gets really grumpy when you interrupt his drinking.” 

What do you mean he gets grumpy.  He’s grumpy on a good day.  Well, thanks for bringing me the eats, anyway.  It’s no wonder the trolls are so hungry, there’s not much around here to satisfy a discerning palate.

“I know how much you like chilled tadpoles with extra garlic.”

The newt’s eyes are a nice treat too.  Did you bring any salted toads.

“Of course.  What kind of picnic would this be without salted toads and lily pad dip.”

You’re too good to me buddy.  Now if my muse would show up, life could get back to normal.Is there any news from home?”

“The zombies are getting restless.  I heard that they ventured into some other blogs.”  

They’re getting brazen if they wandered into Wicked’s blog.  You know that Raine, she takes no prisoners undead or alive.

“Also the Bram Stoker awards were held this week.”

Crap.  I missed it again!

“Yeah, Peter Straub won for his novel ‘A Dark Matter’.  And I hate to be the one to tell you, but Stephen King Won for. ‘Full Dark, No Stars’.”

Was the Master there?  What’d he say?

“He couldn’t make it, but Joe Hill accepted for him.”

Joe didn’t win?  He was nominated for Horns.

“Duh, I just said Peter Straub won the novel award.  But Joe said, “My dad couldn’t be here tonight, but he said to say… you’re all a pack of sick fucks.”

My master really knows how to woo a crowd doesn’t he?  With that thought, I’ll leave you with this gem from none other than My Master, Stephen King from ‘Full Dark, No Stars’.

“Life is fair.  We all get the same nine-month shake in the box, and then the dice roll.  Some people get a run of sevens.  Some people, unfortunately, get snake-eyes.  It’s just how the world is.”

Write On

Eerie