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Well…isn’t this great

I woke this morning to find a zombie next to my bed. His eyes were glossed over with death and rot, but somehow his desire to cave in my skull and dine on my brains was clear in them. The stench alone could’ve killed, but my will was stronger than any threatening smell. I had shit to do. No zombie was going to throw a wrench in my plans.

(strange sidenote: said zombie looked eerily like Billy Joe Armstrong from the band Greenday. )

You know what this meant, don’t you? It meant one of Eerie’s zombies escaped from his “secure” graveyard and infiltrated my house. It’s really sad to think he has so little control over them. He is their master, after all. I’ll have to have a word with him about this.

Anyway, a pending zombie attack at 5am is highly inconvenient, especially since my days are currently filled with trying to write like a madwoman (see previous posts re: Nano), work, take care of kids, and occasionally sleep. 5am is for sleeping, doesn’t everyone know that? (okay, wow. I just checked Eerie’s blog posts, most of which are at—yep, you guessed it–5am!)

But instead, I had to pull myself out of bed and kick some zombie ass. Problem was, his backside was already missing. I assume it fell off somewhere between Gilbert and Mesa as he slowly skulked his way to my house.

Needless to say, I was still tired and moved slow. Luckily, so did the dead guy. It almost seemed like we danced the tango before we ever really considered going to blows. He was after my brains, I was after any part of him I could sever. During all the commotion, my 12 year old daughter entered the room and asked, “Why is their a zombie in your room, Mom?”

“I don’t know, he belongs to someone in my writing group. Oh, nevermind…you can go back to bed,” I told her. But, she wasn’t having any of that. Instead she assumed a karate stance (she’s a yellow belt), waited for the zombie to turn and face her, then presumed to perform “Tiger Break the Coconuts” which was designed to bring any man to his knees. What it did to the zombie guy was pretty X-rated so I’ll leave it to your imagination.

So, I’m sorry Eerie…you won’t be getting one of your zombies back. From now on may I suggest you leave out more zombie food and build a higher fence. And, oh…be sure to hide my address, would ya?

Sunny Dwarf

Leave a comment

1 Comment

  1. dbenneman

     /  November 24, 2010

    I suggest you get yourself a swamp thing of your very own to control the booming population of zombies out there. The only problem I’ve found is when she gets full she just lets the zombies do what ever they want. Still working working out the bugs.

    Eerie

    Reply

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