• Who We Are

  • Schedule

    Mondays ~
    Tuesdays ~ Snarky
    Wednesdays ~ Dreamer
    Thursdays ~ Naughty
    Fridays ~ Dreary
    Saturdays ~
    Sundays ~

    Whenever ~ Smokey, Mighty, Eerie and Wicked

  • Snarky’s Tweets

  • Kinetic’s Tweets

  • Dreamer’s Tweets

  • Wicked’s Tweets

  • Eerie’s Tweets

  • Mighty’s Tweets

TODAYS NEWS

Greetings and salutations once again from the swamp. I must apologize for my absence last week. My alter ego electric man has been getting me up early and keeping me out late doing, of all things, electrical work. How boring is his life? Sadly, when he takes control over our body I have to tag along. He’s killing me with all this work stuff. I keep telling him to retire but claims he can’t. Can’t means won’t I tell him. Then he throws something dopey at me like, “You want to eat don’t you?” I don’t see the argument myself. Besides, we could stand to lose a few pounds. The good news is he’s old and can’t keep this pace up for very long. I’m instigating a hostile takeover. He’ll soon see I mean business. Until then my back is keeping Snarky’s whip polished. A noble, albeit a painful gesture. Enough whining.

Today my trusted (wink wink) friend, Mischievous Raven, has joined us to bring the news from around the Kingdom. So Mischievous what news does thou bring from the far ends of the known world.

“Good morning, Eerie and thanks for having me. This mornings report is being brought to you by A to Z Ammo, sponsors of the neighborhood zombie watch. If you need to deanimate the reanimated A to Z Ammo has your back. Local news, the justice department reported, Sofa King has rejected Eerie’s appeal to have his exile to the swamp lifted, his ruling was accompanied by the courts opinion that nobody cares about what happens to dwarves anyway.”

“Excuse me Mischievous, but who is the Sofa King?”

“You remember the guy with the funny hat. He sentenced you to live here.”

“Of course I know who the king is. Why are you calling him Sofa King?”

“Because he’s sofa king stupid.”

“Hey, you can’t say that. This is a family show. Besides, I didn’t give you editorial rights. Just do the news.”

“Okay okay. Man it’s getting so a bird can’t have any fun. In celebrity news, Swamp Thing was admitted into Betty Fraud rehab last week. Her publicist said she needed some rest, but my sources say she’s detoxing from an overdose of swamp gas. More news after a word from our sponsor. If you want more BANG for your buck, head on over to A to Z Ammo. They have the new Brain Buster Bullet in stock and on sale. Forget the ‘double tap’. Put one of these beauties in the head of your shambling pest and let the BBB do the rest.

What’s up with all this commercial crap?

“Hey a bird has to eat you know. Road kill is hard to come by now with zombies eating everything in site, and fresh fruit doesn’t just grow on trees.”

Actually, that is exactly where fresh fruit comes from.

“Hey Eerie, lighten up Bro. It’s a figure of speech.”

Fine, what else do you have for us?

“On the national front, The Bureau of Zombie Affairs reported this week the unlife expectancy of the average zombie is getting longer. Their research indicates zombies are learning how to work together to minimize their losses. Bad news for those of us with warm frontal lobes. We’ll be back with the weather after this final message from our sponsor. A to Z Ammo caries a full line of home security products. Contact one of their home defense specialist today to see the latest from motion sensing laser sited automatic weapons to claymores.”

Do I at least get a discount since your broadcasting from my blog site?

“I’ll see what I can do for you. And now the weather, in the Northern Kingdom, zombies, with an accumulation of dead bodies. Several feet are expected, along with assorted arms, hands and legs. In the south a warming trend and zombies. To the east—zombies, and in the west black plague with intermittent zombies. Back to you Eerie.”

Well thank you for that enlightening report Mischievous. Our time is short so I’ll leave you with this quote from, August Wilson.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel and as a reminder of your strength.

Write On,

Eerie

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