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Still hiding out in troll country

Greetings and salutations,

Mischievous and I are coming to you from the summit of Troll Mountain.  We have a most

marvelous view of the surrounding country from here.  I think I can make out the swamp.  After several weeks in troll territory I’ve learned a few things about trolls that I here-to-for didn’t know.  For starters for all their mean spiritedness, and bluster trolls are afraid of heights.  Which of course why I’m able to spend this time with you today.  Trolls are also very singular minded and not easily distracted from their task.  I think this is because they’re not very smart and therefore can only think about one thing at a time.  Right now the only thing they have on their minds is a buffet lunch featuring yours truly.  Mischievous tried to distract them with some riddles when we were making a midnight run from the rotten stump we hid in for two weeks during which time snails were my only source of protein.  Remind me to talk to Smokey Dwarf about new ways to prepare snails.  Although I will admit it will be long time before I willingly eat them again.

Trolls are boisterous and opinionated.  Spending time with them is like being in a bar with a bunch of drunks at closing time.  They argue over everything, start fights for no apparent reason and they stink.  They also pick there noses a lot.  The thing you notice first is their stone ugly.  I’m not talking about unattractive here folks, they have been beat with the ugly stick, repeatedly.  Ten miles of bad road, triple baggers, coyote ugly, a face only a mother could love and a good reason why some species should eat their young.  You get the idea.

I’ve been wondering what would happen if I brought the zombie horde to visit.  It might be entertaining.  The only reason I can see that the zombies haven’t come this far east yet is because troll brains are so small it would be like eating pistachios.  You know, it’s a whole lot of work to getting those very tiny nuts out of those hard shells.  Either that, or trolls smell so bad even zombies don’t want anything to do with them.  Either way I have to say I have a new respect for zombies.  They’re more intellectually stimulating than this bunch of louts.

Anyway, here is the current plan, I’ve sent Mischievous off to find my muse.  If he’s not chatting up Wicked’s muse in that dive they hang out in, Mischievous is going to convince him to bring his precious truck into troll country and rescue me.  If he fails at that I might have to call in some favors or worse yet promise to do things for some people I’d rather not be beholding to in order to get out this scrape.  I’ve considered going to the Whipmistress, better known as Snarky Dwarf to see if she could get the cast from ‘Dragos’ to lend a hand.  They’re dragon shifters who seem to get into a lot tight spots and find ways out of them.  Either way I should have some news for you by nest week.  In the mean I’ll close in our usual fashion.  This weeks quote is from Jack London.

“Don’t loaf and invite inspiration.  Light out after it with a club.”

Write On,


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