• Who We Are

  • Schedule

    Mondays ~
    Tuesdays ~ Snarky
    Wednesdays ~ Dreamer
    Thursdays ~ Naughty
    Fridays ~ Dreary
    Saturdays ~
    Sundays ~

    Whenever ~ Smokey, Mighty, Eerie and Wicked

  • Snarky’s Tweets

  • Kinetic’s Tweets

  • Dreamer’s Tweets

  • Wicked’s Tweets

  • Eerie’s Tweets

  • Mighty’s Tweets

Writing Description


Welcome one and and all.  It seems the undead are hanging close by the swamp these days.  I think the heat is getting to them.  The downside is the dampness makes there flesh rot all that much faster, the upside is it’s giving the swamp a not unpleasent potpourri scent .  They’re good kids for the most part, but lets face it, they don’t have all the traditional  puzzle pieces.  I’ve tried to convince them to go and pester the Trolls, but they laughed at me.  Must have something to do with the size of a troll brain.  So keep your zombie repellent near by.  And whatever you do stay off the swamp things property.  She’s been really grumpy since she gave up the swamp gas.  We’re all very proud of her for maintaining her sobriety.  It’s not easy kicking swamp gas. 

Picking up where we left off, part two of writing description.

Last week we talked about describing what places and people looked like.  Today we’re going to tackle body movements, expressions and emotions.  Unlike the former this is harder to over do (MO).  So, how do you tell the reader how Bobby Sue feels when she walks into that honky-tonk.  Bobby Sue felt sad, glad, mad, no no no!

A better question is how do you show the reader how Bobby Sue feels?

Her boots tapped in time to the music as she giraffed her head around looking for Billy Joe.  The dance floor was already crammed with sweaty couples and she was ready  to claim her piece of the hardwood.

How does she feel?  Happy, yes.  A little anxious, maybe.  What will she feel when she spots Billy Joe dancing with that slutty Wanda from the feed store.

Clenching her fist so tight her nails are digging into the palm of her hand she bulls her way through the crowd.

I’m thinking she’s not a happy camper anymore.  Do you think she’s going to politely ask Wanda if she can cut in, or is she going to pound that slut right into the sawdust.  I hope she saves enough energy to clobber Billy Joe when she’s done two stepping Wanda’s face.  But I digress.

By incorporating body movements with visceral reaction the writer is able to convey what the Bobby Sue is feeling.  These are not very complex examples and subtlety gets more difficult, but that is the job at hand.  Throw in some internal dialogue and you’ve got yourself a bonafide three dimensional character coming to life right before your very eyes.  And the smart readers know that Wanda is a Clairol blonde with a great set of six shooters.  And no one had to tell them.

After cold-cocking Wanda and sticking her knee in Billy Joe’s groin.  (You have to show this of course.)   Bobby Sue  fled the honky-tonk with tears burning down her cheeks.  She climbed into Daddy’s pick-up noticing the rifle in the gun rack for the first time.  But not the last.

That last bit is an attempt at foreshadowing.

My goal when writing is get the character to jump off the page and get your attention.  Easy to blog about not as easy to do for 300 pages.  But I repeat, that is the job at hand.  Because as I’ve said before writers write.

We may talk about rewriting chapters next week, or maybe we’ll just go out and play with my neighbors in the swamp for a change.  Until then I leave you with these words from. Bruce Springsteen.

“And the sages of the subway sit just like the living dead.  As the tracks clack out the rhythm their eyes fixed straight ahead.  They ride the line of balance and hold on by just a thread.”

Write On,


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