• Who We Are

  • Schedule

    Mondays ~
    Tuesdays ~ Snarky
    Wednesdays ~ Dreamer
    Thursdays ~ Naughty
    Fridays ~ Dreary
    Saturdays ~
    Sundays ~

    Whenever ~ Smokey, Mighty, Eerie and Wicked

  • Snarky’s Tweets

  • Kinetic’s Tweets

  • Dreamer’s Tweets

  • Wicked’s Tweets

  • Eerie’s Tweets

  • Mighty’s Tweets

Dreamer Dwarf Moves to The Swamp

“I don’t like swamps,” Handsome Rouge, mutters under his breath.

I tighten my hands on the black steering wheel until my wedding ring hurts my hand.  Up until this point, my husband’s been accommodating, no more than accommodating, he’s been a prince.

“It’ll be everything we ever dreamed of,” I promise him.  “Our last home was nice, but dull.  There was never any excitement.  Every house was exactly the same, and every neighbor’s garage door closed before we could even say ‘hello.’  This will be different, but I think it’ll be better.”

“But the closer we get to our new house, the worse the neighborhood seems to get,” he says, glancing out the car window, his blue eyes wide.  “I think we might even be in a swamp.”

I force a smile onto my face, but I know it won’t fool him.  This definitely wasn’t the neighborhood I expected to find our perfect cottage, complete with a white picket fence, to be located in.

Darn realtors.  They’ll say anything to land a deal, especially this one… I even think she might’ve had a tail.  Not that I have anything against creatures with tails.

“Well, we’ve never lived in a swamp before.  And I did want something new.”

He glances back at me, his gentle gaze searching my face.  “I thought you wanted a nice cottage full of ancient house elves, gardens for the unicorns to stroll in, and trees for Angel Boy to swing from.”

“Yeah, but who’s to say we can’t find that in a swamp.”

Coming around a bend in the road, we finally break free from the eerie gloom of the swamp trees and out into a pristine field where, just up ahead, our cottage lies.  Increasing my pressure on the gas pedal, we fly down the dirt road, my old Volvo shaking harder as we approach.  Glancing in my rear view window, I see the moving truck fall behind.

Tilting the mirror away from our escape, I pretended to straighten my messy, brown hair into some semblance of order, but really, I’m practicing my best excited face.

Seeing my realtor pacing by her car outside of our home, I slowly pull over.  She turns, her heart shaped face and red eyes the picture of anxious excitement.

“So, I guess this is where we live now…” my Handsome Rouge says, adjusting his glasses.

I was glad he failed to say, “this is where we live, the place surrounded by a moat filled with hungry looking crocodiles.”

“It’s just a lease,” I tell him, unbuckling myself and opening my car door.

It was definitely too late for regrets.

Moving slowly towards the realtor, I hear the sound of my husband’s car door open behind me.  “I’ll get Angel Boy,” he calls.

“Welcome home!” our realtor exclaims, dangling a set of keys out in front of her as she rushes towards me.

I take the keys with mixed feelings, especially when I realize they’re attached to a lizard head.

“So this is the home you told us about?  The home from the pictures?” I ask hesitantly.

Her sharp-toothed smile fades a bit.  “Yes.”

I hear the sound of Angel Boy babbling as my husband carries him to stand beside me.

“When you mentioned how ‘family friendly’ it was, you failed to mention the crocodiles.”  Handsome Rouge’s normally friendly voice is laced with anger.

Uh Oh.

“Not to worry,” our realtor reassured him smoothly, “the owners of the house employed them to protect you from the zombies.”

“Zombies!” he cries in disbelief.

Our eyes lock, and I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself.  She couldn’t actually mean real zombies, could she?


Leave a comment


  1. Welcome to the neighborhood, Dreamer! Hey, I like what you’ve done to the place. Looks like C.R’s relatives are enjoying the moat! And don’t worry about the Zombies, think of it as a never ending supply of mulch for your garden! ;0) We’re so glad you’re here, the neighborhood could use a little…class… =0)

  2. Welcome to the swamp 🙂 It’s really not so bad once you get used to it. By the way, I have a few swords you can borrow…

  3. Thanks girls, I definitely think swords are a good idea here. 🙂


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