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Moon Rats

Writing blogs are interesting. I say this because I can talk about most anything and can always circle it around to something do with writing.

So today we’re going to talk about Moonrats.

Yes I said it, Moonrats.

Moon Rats are, by far, one of the most diabolical, devious, and insidious creatures known to man. By day they are simple rats, living normal rat lives and eating normal rat foods. By the light of the full moon however, they pour forth from their lairs and spread through the streets, wreaking havoc on all that is good and wholesome.

Yet they do not do so with teeth or claws. They do so with the collective intellect of many a genius. As stated in Monster Manual II, page 151, (what, you though these critters were real? This is Dungeons and Dragons talk, come now) “under the influence of the lunar light, moonrats gain the ability to organize, converse with one another, formulate complex plans, and operate complicated devices. Their leaders remember things done and learned nights or even months before.” It goes on to say how they make long-reaching plans and are able to devise schemes so subtle no man can connect the dots until it’s too late to stop it.

Terrifying, are they not?

Personally I laugh my gut out as the picture on the page shows a little rat standing atop a barrel with a tiny parchment in hand, pointing his little finger to lead the way for the thousands or rats behind him.

But how does this relate to writing you may ask? Simple. Moonrats are the deus ex machina to any terrible story. Who incited the goblins to attack the village? Moonrats did it! Who got the dragon to steal the princess and make kingdoms go to war? Moonrats did it! Who made the page boy slip up, deliver the wrong note, and incite a war between gods? Moonrats!

And no one is the wiser.

I like to remember Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Who were the masterminds behind the curtain? Rats. And I bet they were of the moon variety.

P.S. Don’t ever make your story’s main antagonist a moonrat, it’s considered beneath oneself to do so unless it’s a comedy.

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1 Comment

  1. The only rats we get around here are the ones which Mildred drags from the graveyard before giving them the deathbite.

    Reply

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