Friday the Thirteenth

Greetings and Salutations,

I know many of you think it’s ludicrous to hide in a dark cave completely isolated from the world because of the date.  You certainly have the right to draw your own conclusions.  I’ve experienced several very nasty consequences as a result of ignoring specific signs and warnings.  You shouldn’t mess with the unnatural  laws of the cosmos.  Friday the Thirteenth is in fact a very serious force to be reckoned with.  There are many precautions to be taken, like never use any form of technology.  Internet and cell phones are guaranteed paths to the destruction of your soul.  Even two cans and a string can lead the forces of evil to your doorstep.  I don’t even use fire.  Too risky.

The number 13 alone is a serious threat, hotel owners leave entire floors out buildings. Clearly they understand the threat. In numerology, the number twelve is considered the number of completeness, as reflected in the twelve months of the year, twelve hours of the clock, twelve gods of Olympus, whereas the number thirteen is considered irregular, transgressing this completeness.

Friday has been considered an unlucky day at least since the 14th century’s The Canterbury Tales, and many other professions have regarded Friday as an unlucky day to undertake journeys or begin new projects. Black Friday has been associated with stock market crashes and other disasters since the 1800s.  According to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina, an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the U.S. are affected by a fear of this day. I ask you, can they all be wrong?

Of course there are other things that must be avoided as well. Break a mirror and you’ll have seven years of darkness filling your life.  Allow a black cat to cross your path, I shudder to think of it. Do you have any idea how many mothers suffer from back aches because their children ignored the step on a crack rule.  I mean really the statistics are staggering.  Walk under a ladder?  You’d have to be suicidal.  Spill salt, evil eye.  I could go on (some might say I have, but those who know me best know I’ve gone off the deep end long ago.)  My slogan is superstitious and alive is better than not and well…not.

Here’s the good news.  Throw some salt over your shoulder to cancel spilled salt. Carry a rabbit’s foot in your pocket to ward off the evil eye.  Turn yourself around in a circle seven times to cancel out bad luck. This four leaf clover in my lapel isn’t a fashion statement you know.  If you wear your clothes inside out it insulates you from bad luck.  For some things you must buy spells from the old crone who lives deep in the forest.  She’s a little pricey, but she’s good.  I bought this warthog tusk charm from her.  It has saved my bacon on many occasions.

I’ve got to catch the last bus to the caves, so until next week, I’ll leave you this quote from Alfred Hitchcock

“Revenge is sweet and not fattening.”

 

Write On,

Dave Benneman AKA Eerie Dwarf

Posted by Dave Benneman on December 13, 2013

https://7evildwarves.wordpress.com/2013/12/13/friday-the-thirteenth-2/