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I’m Not Smiling But I Don’t Want to Murder Your Puppy

I am a day late on this post. Sorry ya’ll *cough Eerie cough.* I had a very exciting week in the Windy Swamp. Chicago really did feel like a windy swamp this week with its high humidity and wind.  As I write this beginning sentence I can’t help but notice that the phrase windy swamp makes me think of someone who is dealing with flatulence and has swamp ass. Let this be a lesson writers: word choice is very important.

Now on to my original topic: mannerisms and facial expressions. I am fairly certain that many of you are like me in that you are not constantly thinking about facial and body expressions. I say that and still I think that I am more conscious than most. I am after all a server, and my tables won’t understand that I am not a natural smiler. They will likely read it as a cue that I don’t want to be there (let’s be honest I’d rather be someplace else but I’m not an heiress) or that I’m a total bitch. Either of these scenarios will not pay the rent. Okay, it might pay the rent, but it will leave me with no Diet Coke and frozen yogurt fund, and I need those.

So I really try and be perky at work, it is successful most of the time but sometimes I slip because as my mom says I’m not “rah-rah” and I didn’t drink the Kool Aide.  People just don’t respect dead pan and sarcasm like they should. So being aware that facial expressions and mannerisms play a huge roll in how we are judged and the reactions we get, as writers we need to implement them.

I do this but I have a hard time. I want to write dialogue and the readers automatically know that someone’s eyes are blazing, someone looked longingly, or that someone is shaking in fear. For some reason they don’t. There’s this crazy fad going around called show don’t tell and people expect you to show them things. That for the record was sarcasm and if this were a novel I would tag it as such. So there you have it. A rambling about word choices, servers that appear angry but are not, and a brief thumbs up on SDT. 

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  1. Lo and behold, from the windy chaos of Chicago emerges…MIGHTY DWARF! See how she holds her staff to keep the bullsharks in line? I’m in awe…
    BTW if you did want to murder my puppy, perhaps not giving me forewarning would serve you better!

  2. I was at the beach the other day and lo and behold a bull shark attacked a life guard in a row boat. I was like Miss Douglass, Miss Douglass, Miss Douglass, YOU SHALL NOT PASS, Miss Douglass, Miss Douglass, Miss Douglass. (This didn’t really happen but it could have). If you have no idea what I’m talking about Sir Ian is in this sketch where he’s directing a play and he says deadpan to the actors: “I’m not really a wizard, I only pretended to be. I show up on set and it’s Sir Ian, Sir Ian, Sir Ian, YOU SHALL NOT PASS, Sir Ian, Sir Ian, Sir Ian. You must locate it on the Youtube. I believe it was on the Ricky Gervais show. I have nerded out enough for the evening. Adieu.

  3. I humbly acknowledge your mastery of Sarcasm as a life choice. I do miss our witty repartee, oh Mighty Dwarf. Thanks for checking in at the Swamp. Looking forward to seeing you in Nov.


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